With all this nonsense about 2/21/11, Elimination Chambers, and Triple H returning, we seem to of overlooked some things. Now if you have read my past articles, you know the drill and may be wondering what other issues we still have to address. The answer is simple—I can find the dumbest things and make them seem like a big deal—or I'll just make it up. Without further ado allow me to address these issues.
*Note: This is here for humor. Do NOT take it seriously.
Put An APB Out for "Dashing" Cody Rhodes
SHOUT OUT TO FELLOW BLEACHER WRITER, RACHEL MILLER!!! She is not the only one who misses guy. Cody and his pleather jackets and his Dolce Gabbana knockoff logo bring a little pizazz to Friday nights (and the spoilers we read Wednesday morning). The fact is, Cody Rhodes may be the new CLB of World wide entertainment, but he provides a little (very little) personality. Besides, all of us could use some grooming tips from a nice metro-sexual man who had his face and dreams shattered by a tiny Chicano.
Ron "The Truth" Killings
Why? Why is he in the Elimination Chamber? Why isn't he still in a tag team with Pacman Jones? Why can't he remember what town he is in? More importantly, why hasn't he been released but Shelton Benjamin and others have? Props to Mason Ryan though for getting some cheers for his assault on Mr. "Green Bay Wisconsin...WHAT'S UP?"
Talk about a letdown. Was it me or did this remind anyone of the announcement he made last year when he introduced NxT and the end of Etreme Championship Wrestling? The question remains—who is the host of WrestleMania? This will be a popular topic on this site. SPOILER ALERT—The host is Ryan Seacrest. He hosts everything. And we all die a little inside.
Big Daddy Cool, Diesel
He's the man! That is all. Also, does anyone enjoy "Last Call With Scott Hall" as much as I do.
WOO WOO WOO, YOU KNOW IT
Where is he? Seriously, I want to know. Zack Ryder is the greatest in-ring performer of this era. Do not dispute it, you know it's true. Zack has been dominating Superstars (I really don't know, no one watches that show), and it is a matter of time before Long Island Iced-Z is headlining WrestleMania. WOO WOO WOO, YOU KNOW IT!
Kelly Kelly versus Voluptuous (Chubby) Vickie
This is likely the hottest storyline in years. Kelly Kelly is ready to layeth the smackdown on Vickie. She is clearly the brightest peacock in the flock on Smackdown. And as a peacock it is about time THEY LET HER FLY! (Special thanks to "The Other Guys" for that gem of a line.) This is going to get interesting as Kelly utilized the spear and Edge has a knack for tearing couple apart. Drew McIntyre is not going to be happy. Vickie on the other hand has fired Kelly and is dominating Friday nights. What about Kaitlyn and Dolph. There is some kind of love hexagon going on. When this all comes to a head, this is going to be something. Also, how will "Dashing" Cody Rhodes factor in to all of this, when he returns? I ask this only because he is the most important figure on Smackdown.
That is all for this edition. Now that you are all reminded of important issues, I feel like I've accomplished something. (Not really...sigh). Feel free to add you comments and other issues. Thanks for reading!