Going Over The Top: Dolph Ziggler and The Stars Getting Pushed
Just like the films of David Lynch, the fashions of Gautier or the fans of David Otunga, it's the uniqueness of the Royal Rumble which sets it apart from other PPVs.
Where the Rumble differs is in the opportunity to see how highly the Company rates performers.
As good as David Lynch is, nothing in Mulholland Drive hinted at what Vince McMahon thought of Kofi Kingston.
Similarly, Jean-Paul Gautier has never suggested through sequins a push for Yoshi Tatsu.
A David Otunga fan is, of course, fictional.
As always, the fortunes of the roster saw both extremes. Albert Del Rio came out on top while Tyson Kidd jobbed to an annoying dwarf.
So which members of the roster can look at the Rumble as the push that they need...
It was awesome to see Chavo hitting the three amigos suplex and performing Eddie's little shoulder shrug.
It feels so long since Guerrero has had anything to do except be humiliated, that I'm surprised to see his old matches aren't in black and white.
His short but impressive stint shouldn't be confused with a push of course. This was simply a show of respect from a Company to whom he has contributed so much.
Proving that Vince McMahon does indeed have a heart.
Or at least proving that if you're prepared to dress as a giant foam eagle, job to a dwarf and dress as a giant foam cow while jobbing to a dwarf, Vince will give you three minutes of dignity.
John Morrison has the fabulous look of The Doors lead singer Jim Morrison prior to his death and the charisma of The Doors lead singer after he died.*
Pretty over with the crowd and possessing an exciting and innovative move set, Morrison could easily have been one of the final four in the Rumble.
His moment—avoiding the floor through ingenuity and athleticism—is something that deserves to be remembered.
Sadly, spending so little time in the match will probably mean it's only dimly recalled as a footnote, like Shannon Moore's methods for keeping Matt Hardy from elimination back in 2003.
Like the rumours coming from WWE Management, this Rumble would seem to suggest Morrison won't be main eventing for the foreseeable future.
*Admittedly, this is still a lot more charisma than Steve Blackman ever possessed.
It was a fabulous night for Dolph Ziggler.
Placing him in the title match at the Rumble was inspired. The match was the perfect opportunity to highlight what he could do without the pressure of headlining the event.
As it transpired, both Ziggler and Edge put on a smooth, nicely paced match with a couple of well-chosen spots to compliment proceedings.
The interference of Kelly Kelly was the only negative, but Ziggler more than proved that he's a future main eventer.
It's almost certain that the other former members of the Spirit Squad were cheering him on. Assuming Walmart allows it's employees to watch television in their breaks.
Credit to WWE for throwing such a wonderful swerve and making us believe that Santino Marella might win the Rumble.
Some have complained that Santino hasn't been allowed to show off his wrestling ability and that his position as tag team champion makes a mockery of that division.
The fact is that Santino is by far the most natural comedic performer on the roster and is far more useful and effective as a light relief character.
This isn't to mock his in-ring ability but to praise his comedic timing.
As for the tag team division, it has no credibility because there aren't any tag teams. Blaming Marella is completely missing the point.
I wouldn't expect to see Santino in the main event anytime soon, but who would have predicted Jerry Lawler...
Not in the Rumble but oddly in the women's title match, and even more strangely, the new women's champion.
I, like many, was all ready for Awesome Kong's debut so the appearance of Eve was as welcome as Shane Helms at an HBK fan convention.
I can only assume that with both Edge and Miz holding the belts, WWE wanted some gold to change hands.
It's also interesting to note that besides Natalya dropping the title, DH Smith was dropped from the Rumble and Tyson Kidd was made to look awful...
I'm not a huge fan of Eve or her ability, but she hit the moonsault pretty effectively and it's a positive if the Women's division has one more performer who can rival Laycool, Beth and Natalya.
Alberto Del Rio
The man whose scarf is only slightly shorter than the average amount of toilet paper that the Big Show needs was the biggest winner of the night.
The Mexican JBL has all the qualities to be a future Champion. A super arrogant heel persona, a devastatingly vicious finisher to fit his character and an excessively long, overdrawn entrance.
The Mexican JBL.
His Rumble success was refreshing. Many fans were fearing the expected John Cena win, and while some predicted Del Rio winning, (I have my hand in the air and a smug grin on my face at this point), he was still a dark horse going into the contest.
The Mexican will hold the belt before the year is out and can expect a long run as a main event player.
Michael Cole - Jumping up and down like an exceptionally camp Tigger when Miz retained the belt.
Kevin Nash - Absolutely huge reaction from the crowd and a teaser for a Diesel vs Big Show feud.
Alex Riley - Amazing height when Orton put him over the ropes in the title match.
Booker T - Although I still prefer Christian's spinaroonie.
CM Punk & Daniel Bryan - Wonderful early exchanges in the Rumble that got the crowd chanting.
Ezekiel Jackson - Allowed a clean elimination of the Big Show
Gail Kim - Gail Kim on a PPV. Is it wrong to be excited about a feud involving the Bella Twins..?
Thanks for reading. Comments always welcome.