Juventus's Striker Amauri Finally Reveals The Truth

Saed Khatib@saed_khatibContributor IFebruary 4, 2011

Always whining, grunting and complaining.
Always whining, grunting and complaining.Valerio Pennicino/Getty Images

Amauri, after being a subject of much criticism during the past couple of years, finally agreed to go on loan to play with Parma until the end of the current season.

The talented striker may be a legend after all his achievements. It is, in fact, rare to find a striker who plays 30-40 games per season and scores only two goals.

It takes a particular set of skills to fulfil this accolade, after all even center backs pouch in more goals.

Before relieving the club of his dreadful services, the ogre's agent issued a statement on Amauri's behalf, since the latter does not know how to speak any human language.

Amauri's agent claims that his client is frustrated by his stay in Italy and can't tolerate the situation any longer.

He loathes being in a modern civilization and hates living in a proper home which is located in a decent neighbourhood.

Therefore, the stubborn mongrel decided to take action and stand for his rights as a modern caveman.

He is seriously considering retirement, so that he can return to his hut which is located in a cave somewhere in the Amazon jungle, and resume a life full of simplicity and savagery.

Amauri admits that the reason as to why he originally travelled to Europe was to find a job to fund the purchase of a unique wooden club that would make hunting and assaulting people a much easier and pleasurable job.

A definition of Amauri: "Amauri

v. Amauried, Amaurying, Amauris


1. To fail miserably: Amauried to fulfill their promises.

2. To be unsuccessful: An experiment that Amauried.

3. To cease functioning properly: The engine Amauried." - Karl Dagher.