WWE Talents: Who Needs To Go, Who Needs a Push, Who's Being Wasted
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Hi there, fellow Bleachers! This is Tony Tuco here with but my second article (how am I doin' so far?), and I'd like to opine about the state of some of WWE's talent pool.
Some are being horribly wasted and need a push, some need to go, and some are being manhandled into obscurity. Mark Henry is just one of the wrestlers who fits into one of the above categories, and I can't wait to know what you, the IWC, thinks.
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How many people remember hearing Mark Henry's music and laughing?
More and more often, you say?
How many people remember hearing Mark Henry's music and saying to yourself "Holy crap, someone's gonna die!"?
Been a while, hasn't it?
Friends, I don't think it's been that long ago that Mark Henry was a monster heel, wrecking superstars like Batista, Kane and pretty much anyone else in his way.
Now, he's a Jobber. Now he comes out when there's the need for comic relief...like a dance or rap exhibition. Or some star needs a push...even if that star is a good 100 to 200 pounds lighter. Now, you just know, when Mark Henry comes to the ring, he's gonna job to someone...unless it's a heel who needs a good pounding.
Mark Henry is truly a waste in this capacity. No one is expecting that he's going to be the monster heel he was, being up in years, but couldn't the creative team use this to their advantage?
The tiger, knowing the end is near, is at its most dangerous.
Goldust doesn't have near the spot in the spotlight he had in his heyday, and he did job to Sheamus way back in ECW...but at least Goldust gave him a fight and wasn't outright embarassed. Using the 400-pound WSM as a jobber does less to establish the credibility of the victor and more to add incredulity to the spectacle of pro wrestling and diminish the creative team at WWE.
Those were the days...
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Here's another wrestler who is suffering from the same change of fortune that has befallen the gentleman in the previous slide. This picture was from when Khali inspired genuine fear and dread, even in those of us wise to the ways of kayfabe. Then there was his guest appearance in Get Smart as a bumbling if large villain...and henchman, no less. The the 'Khali Kiss Cam.' It was not that far from here to Jobber city. Hell, when was the last time Khali was on TV, much less in a match, much less last time he won. Punjabi Pucker-upper was the same giant of a man who took Batista to the limit in a Punjabi Prison match. He used to crush skulls with his bare hands! Now he's being eliminated from Battle Royals by Beth Phoenix after a kiss (with no tounge, mind you!).
Sad. Very Sad.
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Why is this guy even in the ring with Kane?
Ok, you need someone to Job, and Jaime Noble is not around. Still, the job of a Jobber should be for those with names like 'Whatzis Name', 'Whoda Hellishe' or 'Neverherda Him'. Or to professional jobbers like Iron Mike Sharpe and the Brooklyn Brawler. Even a guy like Jaime Noble deserved better than to be Jobbed like Chavo's been. Here he's taking it to Kane at least. Noble and Chavo had feuds with and Jobbed to...HORNSWOGLE for pitty's sake. It just, I feel, reinforces my feeling that the WWE needs to bring back the cruiserweight division so wrestlers with tremendous talent like Chavo can shine.
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Ok, I'll admit, I'm not totally sure if this guy is even on the roster anymore, but he's been gone so long from TV, he might as well be gone...and on a way just as well.
This guy was so badly used when he was with WWE...and I suppose in part, and I think this is a problem with WWE in general, that there is a real glut of wrestlers on the 3 shows, many of them mediocre. Even if you get one with some talent (well in the ring, his mic skills were eh, though no worse than John Morison) they die on the vine. If he's still with WWE, let this guy go, if not, hope he can find a place where his skills can be put to good use...maybe as a face. As a heel, he was just annoying and his angle with his sick momma a ways back was a disgrace.
Can't they think of anything better than to have this the guy teaching Goldust Japanese or doing a quasi "Who's on first" routine using thank you's with Christian. Even if they want to make him comic relief, which I get, we never see him. When we do, he's jobbing...I mean when your last big scene was getting jumped by Nexus, there is a problem. Please, give this guy some exposure and a push in his own weight class, or just release him to TNA...though nowadays they have their own problems, but that's for another article...
I can't take this guy seriously...
The first thing is that hair. From his days in ECW, that spiky Bart Simpson wannabe do just kills his credibility. If this weren't bad enough, the bookers took a monster heel (again) and chipped away at his credibility with questionable championship wins and a less than impressive "retiring" of Triple H. During the opening months of Nexus' reign of terror, he turned into a...well wuss. Now they haven't turned him jobber, but they did the next worse thing; they gave him the WORST costume I have EVER seen with that cape and crown. The Gobeldygooker was Lou Thezian in comparison.
he needs a good old fued with a very big man who's a bad a$$...like this next guy used to be...
I require better BOOKING!
Remember when this guy was undefeated? Remember when this guy used his skull to cause blunt trauma? Remember when this guy beat the Undertaker? Neither do I...it's been that long since this guy made any waves in WWE.
Another monster heel (sensing a pattern here?) laid waste to a need for comic relief. I know that WWE is supposed to be for PG and such, but Kozlov was very talented and made a great Heel. Now he Tags with Santino Marella...not a bad use per se as the two do have really good chemistry...but a real shame that one of the few genuinely skilled wrestlers in the business has been turned into clown.
I want this guy to win clean.
I am one of the rarest of rare breeds that is a big fan of both, John Cena and the Miz. Despite what some feel, I think the Miz deserves the push he's gotten. But I feel that they threaten to cheapen his work and character by making him into the stereotypical Heel Paper Champion. He has the ability to be a Randy Savage to John Cena's Hulk Hogan, an Eddie Guerrero...ok, perhaps not in the same caliber as these luminaries just yet. But I would love to see the Miz Champion Randy Orton never was in his early feud with John Cena. Miz can be over the top, awesome and the like, and still be a legitimate force to be reckoned with in the ring.
Outside David Otunga (and that is a ? ) and CM Punk the rest are filler with little to no mic skills. They need to go and make room for the next questionable crop of wrestlers from the Next Season of NXT. Then again, the whole idea of the NEXUS has long since, in my opinion run its course. Kill the NEXUS and let Punk and Cena get on with their feud in earnest.
Of course outside of Wade Barrett (a talent to watch in my opinion, and World Champion before 2012) and Daniel Bryan (WWE will ruin him yet, just wait and see), the rest of the original NEXUS was filler. Even Justin Gabriel is just an Evan Bourne Ret-tread without the personality. NEXUS had so much potential, yet most of these wrestlers have had all the character development of a Red shirt on the Original Star Trek. Ah well, they can't all be the Four Horsemen. They too, need to go.
Soon, all wrestlers will be this Generic...
Well folks, that's it for now. I hope you enjoyed my article. This is just a sampling of wrestlers that need to go or have been badly missused. I welcome your comments and would love to know who you think I should have added to this list.