Jerry "The King" Lawler is heading into his FIRST EVER WWE Championship match headlining a Pay Per View event.
As it stands, Lawler may have had the most disappointing, underachieving WWE Pay Per View matchography ever. Especially when you consider he is a Hall-of-Famer.
Yes, I know he’s spent most of his time as a broadcaster.
Yes, I know he had an exceptional pre-WWE career.
But still, he cannot be satisfied with his WWE body of wrestling work.
Royal Rumble strategy- Hide! Success Rate? For Lawler, extraordinarily poor. Worked out well for McMahon though.
The :04 wonder! He even bookended his performance with the beginning and end of the same sentence. Very nice.
Forcing a well-past-his-prime, recovering alcoholic Jake "The Snake" Roberts to drink Jim Beam whiskey in front of a packed house.
While I couldn't find video footage, here is a clip of match commentary involving the two leading up to their match.
Yes, he really teamed with 3 little fellas by the names of Queasy, Sleazy, and Cheesy, to face a clown and three mini-clowns. Ah, the glory days of the WWE.
The ever-prestigious Kiss My Foot match, barely edging out the dog-food-eating match of SummerSlam 1997 as the most ridiculous stipulation ever.
Jerry Lawler brings in his evil dentist (and future brother of destruction) to take out his long-time nemesis Bret Hart. And I quote... "He's going to drill his way to the top of the World Wrestling Federation, starting with you, Hitman!"
A promo for featuring Lawler & Yankem leading up to the match. (why don't these gimmicks get pushed today? I would love to see someone pitch this... "Hey, you know what would give that guy an edge over 'taker at WrestleMania? If I came in as his scary dentist and wore him down at the Elimination Chamber!")
Gamplan for PPV success:
1. Enter on crutches, announce your injury and subsequent replacement, a clown wrestler.
2. Watch as your replacement is virtually ineffective and gets annihilated.
3. Attack opponent with crutch, revealing fake injury and commencing in scheduled match.
4. Get your ass handed to you over and again.
5. Enrage opponent so much that after you tap out to his submission hold, he won't let go, causing a referee's reversal and a victory.
That's how you win a match, folks. Take lessons.
While most may remember this event for Mick Foley's closest-to-death-without-dying performance in the Hell in a Cell against 'Taker, too few recall Lawler serving as special referee in a match pitting Too Cool vs. Al Snow and a mannequin head (Head).
Surprisingly, Snow and Head lost, in part due to the fact that Lawler's son was one of the members of Too Cool (something often teased but rarely talked openly about on the air).
Lawler, Jr., secured a shampoo bottle (Head and Shoulders, get it?), held it against the mannequin head, and took the victory as Sr. counted the 1-2-3. How proud a poppa he must have been.
In 2003, Lawler would team up with Jim Ross (oh, you're damn right it's that Jim Ross) to take on Al Snow and current ESPN Sportscenter commentator Jonathan Coachman. And lose!
I cannot imagine any one of these men looking back on this moment with fondness. Or anyone doing so, for that matter. Almost seems insanely stupid to book it!
Taking on Tazz at SummerSlam 2001 is no small feat, and given Lawler's history with ECW (not featured here), it makes perfect sense.
What is unfortunate is doing it for Jim Ross' "honor" and then winning the match by having Ross smash a mysteriously-placed glass jar over Tazz's head, knocking him out and allowing Lawler to pick up the win.
I think Jerry Lawler is great, a wrestling legend, a pop culture icon, and a deserved member of the WWE Hall of Fame.
I'm just sorry that it took him this long to get into the WWE title picture, a headlining feud on a PPV for the big strap, and a likely WrestleMania match.
Please don't make it 1:1 against Michael Cole, WWE. You've soiled this man's legacy enough!