Top 15 Funniest Lou Holtz Quotes

You asked for it, you're getting it! The BleacherReport.com Lou Holtz quote extravaganza!

15) "I can't believe that God put us on this earth to be ordinary."

So you don't believe in God, Lou?

14) "If what you did yesterday seems big, you haven't done anything today."

Huuuuh? Lou, you confuse me.

13) "Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond to it."

Why not 95 percent response? Where did you get this data, Sweet Lou?

12) "No one has ever drowned in sweat."

Uh, thanks for the information, big fella.

11) "On this team, we're all united in a common goal: to keep my job."

Well isn't that something for motivation...

10) "When all is said and done, more is said than done."

That's because all you do is talk, Lou.

9) "Don't tell your problems to people: eighty percent don't care; and the other twenty percent are glad you have them."

Where did that get you when recruiting, Lou?

8) "It's not the load that breaks you down - its the way you carry it."

I'm kind of curious what he meant by this one. Does Lou need a diaper?

7) "You'll never get ahead of anyone as long as you try to get even with him."

Good in principle, but I think it just sounds pretty idiotic before you think about the real meaning.

6) "The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it."

I don't think I've ever heard a player complain about the way a ball bounced, but that's just me.

5) "Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated."

Lou is just so motivating!!!

4) "I bet you went on one date and wanted to get married."

What if Mark May wanted to get married, is that really so bad?

3) "I asked you to pack your headgear and shoulder pads, but more importantly your defense and your kicking game, because that's what wins game like this."

Wait, I thought having your headgear won games?

2) "He had shoulder surgery on his elbow."

Yes, he actually said this. Check it out!

1) "They say a tie is like kissing your sister. I guess that is better than kissing your brother."

How would you know, Lou? Have you tried doing it?