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Pat Gillick to Omar Minaya: Mets Season Does Not End After August

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Pat Gillick to Omar Minaya: Mets Season Does Not End After August

In an unprecedented move of pure gamesmanship, Philadelphia Phillies' general manager Pat Gillick called Mets' GM Omar Minaya Wednesday morning to inform him that the games being played in September do count towards the standings.

"I don't want the same boring collapse to happen again. Where's the fun in that?" said Gillick, polishing his 2007 NL East Championship trophy. "Omar and I are good friends, so I was just informing him as a friend more than anything else."

Initially Minaya and his ball club seemed dumfounded by the news. 

"At first I thought he was pulling another prank, like the time they told their own pitcher that he'd been traded to Japan," Minaya said, sporting a vintage Expos cap. "Then, I turned on the TV, and all they were talking about was how the Mets were tumbling in the standings and fading in September again. I was so shocked."

The Mets responded to this epiphany and went out and finally beat the pathetic Washington Nationals Wednesday night, 9-7, behind a two-HR effort from Carlos Beltran. 

"I had no idea the season went on past August, I thought it was just for fun from here on out," Beltran said, while canceling his tee time for Thursday afternoon. "Now it all makes sense. I still don't really care though. Ever since I signed my huge deal with New York, I've stopped caring about playing well or winning games, and I think my play over the past few years has reflected that well." 

The Phillies players, on the other hand, weren't so happy with their GM. 

"Gamesmanship? Who cares about gamesmanship?" slugger Ryan Howard said, sporting his Subway baseball jersey. "All I really care about is more meat, not less fat." 

Mets' interim skipper Jerry Manuel is optimistic about his team's chances now that they know that they actually have a goal. 

"I've been telling my guys to just look at the calendar, that's been our philosophy all year long," Manuel said.. "Have you seen my glasses? They're like eight inches thick. I had no idea September was even a month. I can't read a calendar, I'm blind as a bat."

The Mets wrap up their four-game series against AAA Washington tonight, while the Phillies are in Atlanta to continue their beat-down of the Braves. 

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