I bet he's betting.
The Super Bowl is not just some game that caps off the NFL season and crowns a champion.
It's a part of American culture that brings together a random collection of people for three hours.
Sitting on the couch, talking about what's in the dip are the people who probably don't know the teams involved in the game. They're watching because the Super Bowl has become a social event or their husband dragged them out the door to his buddy's Super Bowl party.
They are a cute innocent group, but annoying once the game starts. They will ask questions like, "Which team is Green Bay?" and "Isn't Brett Favre their quarterback?"
Huddled up like kids getting ready to go out for trick-or-treating on Halloween are adults dressed up like football players. More than likely everyone will have on the same jersey and you will feel like you are constantly surrounded by Ben Roethlisberger.
Pssst. Don't get caught in the bathroom with any of them.
Things get dicey when someone from the annoying group asks a Roethlisberger a stupid question.
And then rocking back and forth in the corner you will find the next Pete Rose.
This guy probably has a bet on everything and anything possible. With the game well in hand, he will stand up and scream, "Dump the yellow Gatorade!" because he has a prop bet on the line.
Don't believe me?
Online sportsbooks offer props on anything you can imagine. The Super Bowl to a degenerate is like Christmas and Easter all wrapped into one for a Catholic.
It's the holiest of the holies.
When Petey is curled up in the fetal position after the National Anthem give him some space. He will need time alone before he loses money on the coin toss.
With so many props out there on the old World Wide Web I decided to dig up 10 prop bets, pick a side, and count up my winnings.
All lines are taken from sportsbook.com, but if you shop around as a degenerate will tell you, you can find other prices and props.
If you see a number like (-140) it means you bet that amount to win $100. So to win $100 you have put $140 on the line. This would suggest the prop is a favorite.
A positive number such as (+125) means you win that much for a $100 bet. This number would be considered an underdog.
How long will it take Christina Aguilera to sing the National Anthem from the first note to the last note?
Over 1:54 (-140)
Under 1:54 (even)
Yes ladies and gentlemen, you can lose money before the game even starts.
One would think this is a complete guess, but it's not.
She performed at a sporting event similar to the Super Bowl back on June 17, 2010. Aguilera sang at Game 7 of the NBA Finals between the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers.
Her rendition lasted 1:54.
The sportsbooks opened this line at over/under 1:50 (-150). This means you had to put down $150 to win $100 if you thought she would go over the posted total.
Since then the line has soared to 1:54 (-140).
It appears the public is all over one side of this bet, which leads me to believe the books knew something we didn't when the first came out with their initial line.
I'm going under for $100 to win $100.
Will the coin toss be heads or tails?
Believe it or not the price on this is outstanding.
Most books put the number at -115, which means they win a nice chunk of change based on the extra money spent by Petey.
It's a pretty easy bet to make because the only person who can screw it up is Phil Luckett.
Remember when Jerome Bettis called, "Tails" only to have Luckett say "Heads is the call, He said heads. It is tails."
Well in the spirit of that coin toss I'm going tails for $202 to win $200 because I need to make up for that National Anthem bet.
Plus tails never fails. Well half the time anyway.
Always the center of out attention.
How many times will Fox mention Brett Favre during the game?
Over 2.5 (-200)
Under 2.5 (+150)
The key to this prop is "during the game."
I assume Joe Buck and Troy Aikman will be in the broadcast booth and they are most likely to talk about Brett Favre before the game starts.
Once the game is underway I don't think they bring up his name again unless the Packers are in the lead and Aaron Rodgers is about to kneel away the victory.
At that point they may mention Favre a couple times and send this thing sailing over.
If the Steelers are winning I think they will show respect to Rodgers and not mention Favre having one Super Bowl to Rodgers' none.
The plus money looks good here so I'm in for $150 to win $225 on Under 2.5
Even a great night won't top the kickers.
What total will be higher: LeBron James points + assists or the distance of the first made field goal?
LeBron James -0.5 (-115)
Made field goal distance +0.5 (-115)
The sports world does not shut down on Super Bowl Sunday and the next two props prove it.
Early Sunday afternoon LeBron James and the Miami Heat will host Blake Griffin and the Los Angeles Clippers.
This game is actually going to be a big deal for the Heat because the last time they played, the Clippers got the best of the Heat.
In that game LeBron went for 27 points and 6 assists. On the season he's averaging 26 and 7.
Let's assume the revenge factor and LeBron goes for 34 and 8. Take the half off from the spread and you're left with 41.5. I'm going to lean with the field goal here as I think one of these defenses gets a stop around the 35 and sets up a 42-yard field goal.
The teams aren't playing in dome, but they are playing in the next best thing so I give the kickers an edge here.
Made field goal distance +0.5 at $115 to win $100 is the play.
Wins tournaments for fun.
What total will be higher: Martin Kaymer's 4th round score at the Qatar Masters or Mike Wallace's receiving yards?
Martin Kaymer's 4th round score -6.5 (-115)
Mike Wallace's receiving yards +6.5 (-115)
Martin Kaymer is arguably the best golfer in the world.
And in case you didn't know, good golfers tend to shoot low scores. This was not the case last year at the Qatar Masters as Kaymer shot rounds of 74, 70, 71, 73.
Even if Kaymer blows up like that I still like Mike Wallace to have 70 yards receiving in this game, which gives me an easy win.
The Steelers tend to take a couple shots downfield each game and Wallace is the target on those deep balls.
If he hauls in one catch you're looking at 40 yards right away. Toss in two more catches and you're dangerously close, if not over 70 yards. And it is a guarantee that Kaymer does not shoot over 76 on the weekend.
There is one catch though about this prop. If Kaymer doesn't make the cut the bet is canceled.
C'mon Kaymer. Make the cut and give me an easy pay day with Mike Wallace +6.5 at $115 to win $100.
Someone on defense is going to score.
Will there be a defensive or special teams touchdown?
The defensive player of the year was announced Tuesday and Troy Polamalu of the Pittsburgh Steelers won.
Green Bay's Clay Matthews came in second and Polamalu's teammate, James Harrison finished third.
It's safe to say each team boasts great defensive units. The defenses are actually receiving as much hype before the Super Bowl as Ben Roethlisberger and Aaron Rodgers.
What makes each defense special is their ability to make game-changing plays. And what better play can a defense make than a scoring a touchdown?
The only problem with this prop is that someone on the Packers or Steelers has to turn the ball over.
As much as I respect players like Roethlisberger and Rodgers I know they cannot play a perfect game.
Plus, I like the fact that someone could return a punt or kickoff for a touchdown.
Yes, someone on the defense or special teams will score a touchdown. I'll lay $100 to win $140.
Jennings has a great shot to win this prop for me.
What will be the distance of the longest touchdown?
Over 44.5 (-115)
Under 44.5 (-115)
With a bet already on the defense or special teams scoring a touchdown I am automatically inclined to go for the over here.
A punt return or kickoff return sends this total flying over and a defensive touchdown will more than likely came around midfield where teams are likely to take a chance.
But if neither the defense or special teams come through for a long touchdown I like the offenses to get the job done.
Both teams take shots downfield with great quarterbacks throwing to outstanding receivers. I know I praised the defenses earlier, but similar to the quarterbacks, they cannot play a perfect game either.
I'm on the over 44.5 for $115 to win $100.
That had to be cold.
What color Gatorade will be dumped on the head coach of the winning team?
Lime Green (+550)
Yes, the sports drink you gulp down can win you some serious cash Super Bowl Sunday.
I'm a huge fan of red, but I'm not going to let me heart get in the way of this one.
Yellow is obviously a favorite here because it is the color of each team.
I'm staying away from that number though.
Some may think It's foolish to bet on a prop like this because it shows how big of a gambling problem you have. I say It's foolish to bet on yellow because it makes no sense to lay $120 in this spot with so many possibilities.
I'm taking red off the list because no one wants their coach standing on the podium with a giant stain on his shirt, right?
So now I'm down to clear/water, lime green and blue.
I'm almost convinced more Gatorade jugs are filled with water than actual Gatorade. It's a great advertisement ploy for Gatorade.
Viewers think the players are drinking this great product that replaces electrolytes when in reality they are drinking water.
Let's go with clear/water at $300 to win $450.
Who will win the MVP?
Aaron Rodgers (Packers) +175
Ben Roethlisberger (Steelers) +300
Rashard Mendenhall (Steelers) +600
Greg Jennings (Packers) +1200
Field (Any Other Player) +1200
Mike Wallace (Steelers) +1500
Troy Polamalu (Steelers) +1500
Clay Matthews (Packers) +1500
James Starks (Packers) +1500
Charles Woodson (Packers) +2000
James Harrison (Steelers) +2000
Hines Ward (Steelers) +2000
Donald Driver (Packers) +2500
Heath Miller (Steelers) +2500
James Farrior (Steelers) +2500
James Jones (Packers) +3000
Jordy Nelson (Packers) +3000
BJ Raji (Packers) +3000
Emmanuel Sanders (Steelers) +3000
AJ Hawk (Packers) +3000
The first thing you need to do with this prop is determine which team will emerge with the Lombardi Trophy.
Green Bay win means Aaron Rodgers walks away with the MVP. There is no debating it.
But if Pittsburgh wins? At that point your guess is as good as mine.
Ben Roethlisberger probably won't come up with MVP-like stats. Rashard Mendenhall seems like a nice bet, but can you really see him as a Super Bowl MVP?
I'm taking a flier with a defensive player since I already think someone on the defensive side of the ball will score a TD and because the Steelers defense has so much talent.
Troy Polamalu will be fresh in everyone's mind with his defensive MVP award. Add the fact that his hair and ability to play the game make him hard to miss, he is good bet for this prop.
Troy Polamalu for $100 to win $1500 is the bet.
Should have thanked Peyton for that pick.
Who will the Super Bowl MVP thank first?
Does not thank anyone (+300)
If I won the MVP I would thank myself for being awesome or I would extend gratitude to the opposition for sucking.
But since I'm not going to be winning an MVP anytime soon I need to get into the head of the future MVP winner and wonder who he appreciates most.
Apparently no one thanks their coach anymore and that's why you get such a juicy number. The huge payoff could cover all of the day's debts, but it could also be a sucker bet.
Yes, I did go with Troy Polamalu, but that was a bit of a gamble. I need to get smart with my money here since I haven't done that yet.
It's always hard to bet against Tiger Woods, Peyton Manning and God.
But when you do and you win there is always a little extra gratification.
Give me Teammates for $100 to win $200.