Open Letter to the World: It's Good News Week

BabyTateSenior Writer ISeptember 17, 2008

                                            IT'S GOOD NEWS WEEK

It's good news week, North Korea's trying to drop a bomb somewhere, 

Contaminating atmosphere, and blackening the sky,


It's good news week, lots of friends in Asia now, 

We know they cheated us in gymnastics and how,

But the U.S. owes them money and said, "OK, we're beat,"


It's good news week, the Hurricane missed the LSU game,

But caused destruction and pain in the street just the same,


Have you heard the news? What did it say?

Who's won that race? What's the weather like today?


It's good news week, we've butchered up the sacred cow,

Known to us as the BCS, let every college eat.


It's good news week, who should be fired?

Is your job on the line today?


It's good news week, flooding throughout the Midwest,

No power for your homes, aren't you glad the Sun is out during the day?


It's good news week, Wall Street says please shake the need for gold,

By stimulating birth control, you'll be wanting less to buy food to eat.


It's good news week, someone said an Alaskan woman could lead the United States,

Perhaps she could give us a BCS playoff in the midst of all this hate.


It's good news week, who are you to complain when you get beat?

Count your blessings my friends, we've found a way to keep us from the heat.

To keep us from the heat. To keep us from the heat.



Apologies to Hedgehoppers Anonymous, 1965