Why Football Fans Should Endorse Sarah Palin

This is not a political argument. Frankly, I’m already to the point where I just want November 4th to be in the books so we can get on with our obsession: NFL football. No, this is simply and unabashedly a narrow and perhaps even primal commentary from the perspective of a man infatuated with the world’s most violent game and still unable to control my biological attraction to the world’s most beautiful women.

That brings us to the No. 1 reason football fans should love Sarah Palin, at least male fans: she’s a babe! Electing Sarah Palin is like electing one of our beloved NFL cheerleaders. Even better because Sarah wasn’t a cheerleader, she was a jock babe!

Electing Sarah as President of the United States would assure American dominance in the fight for attractive heads of state. Oh, that’s right, she’s running for vice-president; why do I keep forgetting that?

Next, have you seen the pictures of Sarah knocking down moose and elk? Have you seen her up to her armpits in salmon? She hunts, she fishes, she plays hockey with her kids! Sarah Palin should be a pin-up girl for a Cabella’s catalog!

Did I mention she’s a babe?

And she’s tough! After two years (yes it has been that long) of party candidates whining like grade school sissies about name calling and hair pulling Sarah is a breath of fresh deer-scented air! Even after that stupid Saturday Night Live skit, (sorry Tina Fey, it sucked!), Sarah just stepped up and said she thought the lousy impersonation was funny!

Boy, do I miss John Belushi , Dan Akroyd and Jane Curtain. This crew is lame; but that’s not the point. Sarah doesn’t whine and she’s got a sense of humor.

Couldn’t you see yourself slugging down a brew with Sarah, bundled up in NFL licensed winter gear and Sorrels while slapping some freshly killed venison steaks on the grill at your favorite tail gate? Damn, I’m starting to lose control…

Did I mention she’s a babe?

Tonight Sarah Palin will be on Hannity and Colmes. They already released a picture of Sarah sitting with Sean Hannity in a mid-thigh black cocktail dress, her silky legs crossed seductively revealing just enough to tease…there I go again!

Best of all: women love her! You can have your Sarah Palin fantasy in full tilt man-rule mode and no matter what crude, disgusting, lecherous comments you make your wife will give you a pass. They love her as much as we do!

Did I mention she’s a babe?

So:

Real men, true football fans, fellow American males; Sarah Palin is damn near the most perfect woman ever created. Putting aside our political differences, we should all give a hearty NFL endorsement to Sarah Palin. Are we all sure she’s not running for President?

And…Did I mention she’s a babe?