The Crystal Ball: Month-by-Month Predictions for the Sports World 2008, Part II (July-December)

The article is the second part of my predictions for 2008. If you missed part I you can view it here:

July

NFL training camps open. Mike Dragosavich, a punter from North Dakota State, is the only draft pick not holding out. Brett Favre reports for his 18th training camp.

The Major League Baseball All-Star Game takes place at Yankees Stadium. With the Yanks' new stadium opening next season, we are inundated with stories about the House That Ruth Built. Without HGH and steroids, the Home Run Derby is the worst it's been in years. The winning slugger, Jack Wilson, beats David Eckstein, 4-3.

For the twelfth year in a row, the National League doesn't win. The American League will have home-field-advantage in the World Series again. Hours and hours of talk radio will be spent debating how stupid this rule is—without anyone mentioning that it doesn't make a difference since the winning World Series teams of the past five years are 20-3 against their opponents.

If they were smart they would award home-field in Game 4 to the winning league so at least the team could win the World Series in front of their fans.

August

Bama kicks off the college football season by beating Clemson in Atlanta, and Virginia shocks the football world with an upset of USC. Trojan fans start calling for Mitch Mustain to replace Mark Sanchez at quarterback. Some USC fans are so distraught over the loss, they rip up their cashmere sweaters and threaten to vote Democrat.

Preseason NFL football begins. Three significant starters go down with season-ending injuries. Fantasy football league owners wonder, for the eleventh year in a row, why they hold their drafts so early. Michael Turner of the Bears wins the Ahman Green Award, given to the free agent acquisition who gets drafted way too high in fantasy leagues and elicits laughs from all the other owners. 

The United States, led by Kobe Bryant, Jason Kidd and Carmelo Anthony, wins the gold medal in basketball by defeating Spain, 117-91. The Beijing Olympics go over without a hitch. Very little attention is given to China's various human rights violations.

September

Ohio State at USC on September 13th—as if Kirk Herbstreit and Sean Salisbury weren't on my television enough. USC makes the Rose Bowl game against Illinois look like a nail-biter, when they defeat the Buckeyes 55-10. OSU fans are comforted by the fact that at least it wasn't Appalachian State.

The MLB playoffs begin. The Tigers beat the Yankees and the Red Sox beat the Angels (again) in the ALDS. In the National League, the Cubs defeat the Dodgers and the Mets defeat the Padres.

October

NBA training camps open. All eyes are on Greg Oden. A camera crew films him as he receives his AARP card in the mail.

The Tigers defeat the Red Sox and the Cubs beat the Mets in the AL & NL Championship Series.

The Cleveland Browns start the season by going 0-3 with Brady Quinn at quarterback. Meanwhile, the Bears start their season 3-0 with Derek Anderson at quarterback.

Matt Leinart's 21.5 rating after four games prompts Ken Whisenhunt to replace him with Kurt Warner. Leinart's agent calls ABC to schedule Leinart's audition for Dancing With The Stars.

The Cubs and Tigers square off in the World Series. The Tigers sweep the series. Carlos Guillen is the MVP. 

November

______ _________ is elected the next President of the United States. (You think I'd alienate half my readers? I need those six people.)

Johan Santana signs with the Yankees for seven years and $160 million. Minnesota fans are just happy they didn't supply another star athlete to the city of Boston.

The Patriots and Packers play one of the greatest regular-season games in recent memory. Thanks to the game being on NFL Network, only 16 people saw it.

December

The BCS pairings are announced. The Championship Game will once again feature a team from a great conference going against a team from a crappy one. This time it's Oklahoma vs. Michigan.

The Heisman Trophy is awarded to Sam Bradford. 

The NFL regular season ends. Brett Favre announces he'll retire at the end of the playoffs. Aaron Rodgers is the only person happy about it.

Andrew Ungvari makes his predictions for 2009.