In much, much, MUCH happier times
Say you're Urban Meyer.
Say you read a Rick Reilly article about Ben Roethlisberger dealing with the devil to attain his success.
Say you're still working at Utah, ready to breach the ranks of the majors, so you whip out the Ouija board and conjure ol' Lucifer himself.
You're not too into the whole "selling your soul" thing, so you ask for your options.
"Hmm. Well let's see. I'll let you win two national titles, have a ridiculous winning percentage, coach one of the best players of all-time and, hell, even throw in two basketball championships, back-to-back. In return, you can give me your first born son to feast upon, you can end up working for Al Davis, or after 5 years of success and glory lose all your top players, your health and your job."
Say you weigh the options, and after saying why the hell not, accept the third option, and prepare yourself for Gator Glory.
Okay, well maybe this isn't the case, but if it is, who cares? Everybody has their down years. Why was it such a shock that Florida just had theirs?
If anything, I'm a-ok with this. Let's take this year off, when the attention of the NCAA isn't focused on the failure of our program, but instead player scandal. Let's let our coach retire because of health and family while others sell out and jump to the NFL for bigger bucks or get fired for beating their wives.
How will the Gators fare this year?
Five losses? That's nothing. At least they weren't Texas, not even qualifying for a bowl after appearing in the National Championship. And then they lose their defensive coordinator? Well that must suck.
Especially since they lost him to Florida.
What it comes down to is that Florida fans got spoiled. We were so used to seeing Timmy Tebow run over anyone on the field, plus a couple coaches, on the way to the end zone. We were so used to Brandon Spikes making his victims have Vietnam-like flashbacks about their hits weeks later. Unfortunately, thanks to John Brantley, Steve Adazzio and most of the defense, we were reintroduced to interceptions, missed tackles and the disgusting concept of losing.
All signs point to progress, though. Jeff Driskel, a ridiculous specimen of a quarterback, is coming and is even expected to compete for the starting job. Trey Burton's little brother is coming. De'ante "Poppa" Sanders is coming (and trust me, he's good; my high school team has played against him). Will Muschamp is the life on the sideline the Gators so desperately needed. Charlie Weis, with all his shortcomings at Notre Dame, is an offensive genius, as long as he doesn't die in the Florida heat. These boys are ready to make Gainsville Title Town, USA again.
Plus it won't hurt that I sacrificed a few goats in the name of all that is Gator.