10 Awesomely Fabricated Tweets from Day 1 of the Australian Open
Proof that tennis stars are really, deep down, just like all of us: they still can't stop themselves from sharing with the world every inane thought that pops into their heads on Twitter.
Here are the best thoughts from Day One of the Aussie, in 140 characters or less...**
CaroWozniacki: gisela couldn't handle my moonballs today!! best number1 evrrr. #moonballs #conchitamartinez #playinglikeit's1995
JuJuHenin: @carloschinchillarodriguez sania's forehand hot like indian curry last night. why u not coach from stands in first set. hate uuuu.
mashasharapova: Tammy ate a little too much Thai food over the offseason... Sure her last name isn't Ton-asugarn?
RFedNumberOne: @rafanadal Good luck tmrw in ur first round dude. U wouldn't wanna lose as the heavy favorite in a crazy marathon five-setter or anything.
vika7: thanks 2 all my fans in new guinea who sent me passenger pigeons saying they could hear my grunts!!! luv u!! #AusOpen #NewGuinea #SexyGrunt
MardyFishSticks: almost got fish fried by dracula on court 3 today... little did he know THIS filet was sauteed in GARLIC! MUAHAHAHA. #fishinfive
SvetlanaK27: sveta no svet much on court 2day. gunna go listen to fitty and smack around some hoes in da locker room. #ausopen #bustarussiancapinyoass
MaryCarizzle: i miss seducing the american people with my manly undertones and lighthearted sexual innuendos. why ESPN? WHYYY? #espnblows
venuseswilliams: pulled on my dress more times 2day than a drag queen with a bad rash but still won!! WHOOP WHOOP jehovah gonna smite all those haterz!
**While I wish these Tweets were real, they are, unfortunately, completely fictitious.
But you know they all were thinking the same things...
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