I Need a Tylenol: 10 Things That Gave Me a Headache in Week 3

Chase DunaganCorrespondent ISeptember 14, 2008

My name is Chase, and I need anger management.  It is only three weeks into the college football season and I think I might have a hernia on my left abdomen. I don’t have a six pack, so this might be a good thing. People might think it’s an ab!  Wishful thinking. 

Anyways, I’ve decided that instead of keeping my rants inside of me and waiting to be justified in the next week of football, I’ll instead let them out and hopefully annoy and/or upset some of you readers. 

If anyone is in agreement with what I say, then you too are crazy and should seek mental help. College football is an addiction, and it needs to be treated as such. 


Here are the 10 things that pissed me off this college football weekend. 


1. Kirk Herbstreit

It only took 27 minutes into the Ohio State-USC game before Mr. Buckeye himself started touting this year's USC team as quite possibly the best USC team that Pete Carroll has coached in his eight years in Los Angeles.

Hey, I’ve got an idea!  Why doesn’t ESPN make a special about how this year's USC team would match up against the greatest teams of all time BEFORE the season is over?

What?  They did that three years ago?   And Texas beat them in the National Championship? 

Well, did they do a special about Texas being the best team of all-time after they won?  No? Oh well, they were probably just busy...


2.  Ohio State

None of USC’s greatness would be warranted if “The” Ohio State University would have even put the ball in the end-zone.  Just once!   Is it that hard?

Thank you OSU, for making USC’s defense look like the Steel Curtain.  FYI to Jim Tressel.  If your team falls apart after losing your No. 1 running back, then you didn’t have a good team in the first place. 


3.  Hurricane Ike

Because of this tropical disturbance turned horrible, my aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends who live in the southeastern part of Texas were terrorized this Saturday.   They were forced to evacuate and leave their homes in the hands of Mother Nature. 

Mother was apparently not happy and decided to destroy my uncle’s seaside house.  Thankfully, he left his house before the storm hit, but he must now live in a hotel until he can rebuild and restart his life there. 

Not only did this affect me personally, but on another, less important note, the Texas vs. Arkansas game was postponed until two weeks from yesterday.  I go to school in order to get season tickets for really cheap (seriously).  This week was a waste of my time.

Now I have to wait a whole other week until I can see my Longhorns do to Rice what Ike did to the Texas Gulf Coast. 

Hopefully everyone’s families in that area are safe and sound. 


4. The Oklahoma Sooners

Talk about class!  Did anyone catch the beginning of the Washington and OU game?  How about the part where the OU football players blocked the entrance to the field when the Washington players were trying to run out of the tunnel right before kickoff!

To add insult to injury, the rest of the game was dominated by OU, and there were many personal fouls called on both teams, including an OU player pancaking a Washington player very late after a false start penalty.

Washington struck back the next play by taking the offender out of the game in their own way.  Hey, you mess with the bull, you get the horns.

I WISH OU would try that crap against TEXAS!  A path would be cleared out of that tunnel. I guarantee it!



Gamecocks, guys, you were one play away from tying or even beating the Georgia Bulldogs and fulfilling my preseason prediction!

Why?  Why did your running back have to jump for the end-zone from five yards out!?  Why did he have to fumble it and let the Bulldogs recover and squeak away with a win?   Why? 

I know why.  KARMA!  This is what Steve Spurrier gets for all those years at Florida where he ran up the score on all those SEC teams, and especially Georgia.  Karma’s a *****.


6.  Penn State

I like Penn State.  But I don’t like to see a good guy like Greg Robinson get beat down like he has been for the last three years now.  So today I was rooting against Penn State.

But it didn’t matter.  Not even Jim Brown in his prime could help out this Syracuse team.  Greg Robinson, take a word from Bowling for Soup and “Come Back to Texas.” 


7.  UCLA

Thank you UCLA, for making BYU look like they just had a flashback to the 1980s. 


8.  East Carolina

East Carolina, I made it a point to tell all my friends that you were a legit team.  You would wipe the floor with BYU and deserved to play in a BCS game if you even had one loss.   And how do you repay me?  You scrape by Tulane by four points.   BYU better not lose to Wyoming next week…


9.  Notre Dame

This should probably be aimed at the media, but if Notre Dame ends up in the Top 25 on Monday after beating a lowly Michigan team, I might pull a Vince Young.  (It’s okay, I’m a Texas fan, I can say that.)


10.  Mississippi State fans

Two words.  Cow Bell.  I will never, EVER, watch another MSU game that is played at MSU.  EVER.  I need a Tylenol.


I’ll be back next week to tell you what I’m pissed off at.  Read if you must. 


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