Tressel Teaches New Course: Sandbagging 101
Bobbing and weaving as if he thought he was the Ohio State Buckeyes' starting running back, head coach Jim Tressel is showing his appreciation of the fine art of sandbagging.
Sandbagging is a polite way of saying someone is spreading copious amounts of fertilizer about in a deliberate attempt to mislead others (see: Bill Belichick).
He starts the week saying Beanie Wells is going to play Saturday against the No. 1-ranked USC Trojans, a game that has drawn a fair amount of attention among the sporting public. After Wells dings his foot on Wednesday, Tressel changes his tune, saying he won't be able play.
Friday morning brings us breathless ESPN reports from "Three Card Monty" Tressel, that Wells wouldn't play if the game was on Thursday, but the game is on Saturday so he may be able to play.
Now a late Friday afternoon AP bulletin with a Los Angeles dateline has Tressel pulling out his tractor once again to spread a fresh coating of manure stating Wells will not play.
Directly from the AP wire: "He's been getting treatment 15 times a day," Tressel told the assembled media just minutes after he told his team of the decision. "I guess if looks could kill, he fought me. I just told the team because it's important our guys know what we thought we should do."
What "Guano Master" Tressel fails to realize is the USC Trojans simply do not care who is carrying the ball for Ohio State. The philosophy Trojan coach Pete Carroll has put in place to address the question is quite simple.
Ohio State will have eleven guys on offense wearing white jerseys tomorrow on the floor of the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Rapidly find out which one has the ball and introduce him to the turf with great prejudice.
It doesn't matter if the one carrying the ball is wearing number 28. The ballcarrier can wear 34, 1, 3, 17, or 2; all numbers that represent players who toted the rock for the Buckeyes in their last game. Whoever has the ball must go down hard and quick.
It is really that simple. If Tressel still wants to play games, maybe he should head over to the NBC lot and see if he can get on Deal or No Deal. Because the Trojan defense proclaims no deal to his sandbagging ways.
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