The Oregon Ducks are nothing more than Boise State of the west. Their sandlot, toss-the-ball-around-and-see-what-happens style of play is designed for mamby pamby panty-wasted big boy wannabe’s that can’t stand toe to toe with anybody other than teams just like them.
Last night, with the exception of a couple of good plays by them and stupid mistakes by Auburn, they were out-played, out-coached, out-hustled and out of their league. Calling plays from a high school playbook? Against the SEC? Pu-leeze!
The kind of plays Oregon tried using took more time to develop than a roll of Kodachrome film. Auburn had time to see them, read them, read a book and still beat them to the point of attack. What was Coach Kelly thinking, or was he actually thinking at all? Maybe he wasn’t.
Maybe Auburn scientists secretly discovered ways to manipulate thought and passed along that information to Defensive Coordinator Ted Roof. It could be that Auburn simply ESP’ed their way to the BCS Championship.
Run it up the middle, Coach Kelly. Oops, that didn’t work. Try a toss-sweep, double-reverse, halfback pass. Nope, that didn’t work either. Auburn busted coverage? AHA! Now, that works!
Only, it only works a couple of times and that leaves some 60 more times Oregon needed to be able to MAN UP and push the Auburn defensive front backward a few inches or so. Too bad that team speed, size, coaching and the laws of physics would not allow that to happen. Too bad Coach Kelly didn’t have warp speed or a Klingon cloaking device at his disposal.
And maybe, just maybe, the Oregon Ducks were blinded by the iridescent glow of their shoes, socks and do-rags. If the game had been Oregon versus Boise State, it would have looked more like a version of Tron than a football game. Whatever happened to tradition, or the want to develop one?
Pick a color, Ducks, and stick with it. And, while you’re at it, a caricature of Daffy Duck would serve your mascot better than the Donald Duck outfit he wears now. At least Daffy has an attitude.
The Oregon Ducks, and the Oregon Duck, only have sleight of hand and a bad eye for style.
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