September 12, 2008
Has anyone read this yet?
The article opens with "Tony Stewart is pissed." Really? Is this a shocker to anyone, when isn't Tony pissed?
I long for the day that I read "Tony Stewart is positively glowing with exuberance." Ain't gonna happen!
I've read that Tony has embraced his "edgy" profile that the magazine portrays, but also admits to having "casual joking conversations" that opened himself up to the content that was printed in the magazine.
He is quoted as saying "Pu**y, money, cars, that's all I care about" and "My parents are afraid my d*ck's gonna rot off."
Some may find that kind of banter disrespectful, and perhaps I too should be offended by it. Meh...it's all silly locker room talk to me.
As a woman working in a male dominated profession I hear this kind of gibberish everyday. I just know better than to let myself fall prey to all the bull.
So, go on with your bad self Tony. Keep it up with those bubble-headed bleach blonde "pit lizards" and get back to us when your junk,gangerous and smelling of necrosis, actually breaks off and slips out of the leg of your fire suit one day.
Sounds like some of his problems stem from his women cohorts; perhaps a dip in a different dating pool would do him some good.
Maybe an intelligent, successful, scrappy, brunette could change all that Tony. One that would pry that box of Krispy Kreme's out of your hands, release that pot-bellied pig that you've been carrying around in your waistband, wrestle you to the ground and inject you with a much needed shot of penicillin.
Oh you filthly little bastard, I so want to drop you kicking and screaming into a claw-footed bathtub and scour you from head to toe with strawberry and kitten scented body wash.
I'm sure you'd clean up nicely after a good scrubbing with a stiff wire brush and a few bars of antibacterial soap.
After that, we could play a little "Is that a chip on your shoulder or are you just happy to see me?"
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!