Quick Snaps: NFL Jokes On The Seahawks, Saints, Rex Ryan, Ravens and More
Playoff time kids! The big news this week: The Seahawks beat the Saints. Who put the Saints D together? Same guy who designed the levees?
New Orleans has to get ready for Mardi Gras. The Saints started early. They gave up the playoffs for lent.
Matt Hasselbeck looked good. He looked better than Elizabeth Hasselbeck on "The View." He’s certainly easier on the EARS…
And so Seattle keeps going, despite their bad record. They’re like Nickelback!
That Marshawn Lynch run with the stiff arm was awesome. He flew past more Saints than a Dominican in a head-on collision.
Snacks, You Guys Have Any Snacks?
Al Bello/Getty Images
The Jets beat the Colts. Rex Ryan came running out on the field laughing and smiling. The most exercise he’s gotten in a while.
Rex Ryan has a foot fetish? Of course he does. Just look how much he likes sticking his foot in his mouth.
When they say it's 4th down and a foot to go, does he get excited?
I guess to him flip flops are like garters.
What if you second-guess marrying a guy with a foot fetish? Do you get cold feet?
First Down, Time Out Or Ultra Man?
Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images
The Ravens beat the Chiefs. It was a case of too many chiefs, not enough Indians. And by “chiefs,” I mean turnovers.
For the Chiefs to advance they had to stop one guy: the pilot of the Ravens' team plane.
Now the Ravens have to go play the Steelers in Heinz Field- the big ketchup bottle. Know how to win there? Turn ‘em upside and smack ‘em on the bottom.
Pedstrian Throw, Or Freakish Catch?
Jared Wickerham/Getty Images
Ben Roethlisberger got engaged. Is there no end to the list of mistakes this guy will make after a head injury?
I guess he’s just used to getting a ring at the end of every season.
You know how you’re supposed to wait after a relationship to get involved again? How long are you supposed to wait after a guy’s second sexual assault charge, before you get engaged?
People say Vick shouldn’t be allowed to have a dog. Should Big Ben be allowed to have a fiancé?
Al Bello/Getty Images
The Packers beat the Eagles. Vick declared himself “a 100%.” 100% what? Sure that he shouldn’t get a dog? That’s about where I am on that.
The Packers put a spy on Vick to shut him down. They should have done that in his life off the field.
The also loaded up the box to stop Vick. Maybe it spooked him that it looked like a jury.
Adult Males Will Butt Heads In Combat Over Females
Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images
The Rams fired their equipment manager who had been with the team for 44 years. He was actually with the team longer than St. Louis.
Gotta suck when your towel guy has been to the Super Bowl more than any of the players.