While flipping through the channels one night, with nothing else on whatsoever, I found “Monster In Law” on TBS. It’s not so much I found the movie as much I found one scene.
There is a part where Jane Fonda, knowing she is going to get fired, interviews this hot little ditsy blonde pop star. This pop star, who is said to have “glitter on her nipples,” claims to like really old movies like “Legally Blonde” and oppose Roe vs. Wade because she doesn’t approve of boxing.
Jane Fonda, of course, attacks her for her ignorance, or rather, what Jane Fonda wishes she still looked like.
Well, after looking up this girl’s information on IMDB, I was shocked to learn that this same pop star actress is the daughter of fired Washington Redskins, fired Oakland Raiders, and current coach of the San Diego Chargers, Norv Turner.
This was a hard fact to absorb because come on, Norv Turner has more wrinkles on his face than Lance Henriksen, and hasn’t accomplished even a fraction of what Henriksen has. Adding onto that, Henriksen was illiterate his whole life until he learned to read from scripts. Still, ole Bishop from “Aliens” and Frank Black from “Millennium” had a track above Norv.
That is, of course, until we discovered Norv’s daughter. “Monster In Law” was made in 2005, which proves her father’s future planning. Knowing that he would be fired for his horrible job with the Raiders, and doubting anyone would hire him again, he threw his daughter onto the set of this movie in the hope that she would get some future jobs and maybe support him as soon as he got fired from another coaching job.
Well, Norv did a pretty good job as coach last year; or rather he didn’t mess things up totally for the Chargers. But remember, it took him six years to qualify for the playoffs as Redskins coach. And let’s be honest, he succeeded with Marty Schottenheimer’s players last season.
So, given his track record, Stephanie Turner should be preparing her push up bra and glittered nipples for the next time her father loses his job.