Another week of college football has gone by, featuring a pretty significant number of “chumptastic” performances. With that being said, there are certainly enough candidates for this week’s “All-Chump Team”...and here they are.
College Football’s Week Two “All-Chump” Team
Chris Turner, Maryland
13 for 28, 207 yards, one TD, three INT in a loss to Middle Tennessee State
He should still be hiding in his shell after that performance.
Chris Crane, Boston College
18 for 35, 142 yards, one TD, two INT, sacked in end zone for safety
While fans were still drinkin’ “Matty Ice,” Crane’s performance in BC’s home opener was far from intoxicating.
Army’s running game
55 carries for 169 yards in a 28-10 loss to New Hampshire
55 carries for that many yards? They were more like the French army—not going anywhere and basically surrendering.
Wait a second...New Hampshire has a football team?! Just kidding...
Brian Robiskie, Ohio State
Three catches for eight yards against Ohio University
It may seem like I’m picking on him, but with stats that boring, I’d rather see Britney Spears perform at the VMAs again.
TRENCHES: O-LINE & D-LINE
Ohio State O-Line
Allowed three sacks to Ohio University (plus as an offense, they were nearly outgained).
One of the best teams in college football allowing three sacks to Ohio University—and next week they will be wearing Trojans. Get your mind out of the gutter—that’s not what I meant.
Notre Dame D-Line (and defense as a whole)
Allowing San Diego State to pile up nearly 350 total yards on offense
The Irish managed a comeback victory, but for a while there, even Touchdown Jesus looked away.
Gave up 238 yards on the ground to Penn State in a 45-14 loss
Four scores and seven losses ago, the Beavers and Mike Riley still can’t win on the road in September.
Allowed 270 yards passing and two TDs to Louisiana-Monroe QB Kinsmon Lancaster
Arkansas had to narrowly escape by scoring the winning TD with just over a minute to go. I don’t know what’s more embarrassing: perhaps trailing 24-6 in the third...or maybe having to go through a similar situation in Week One with Western Illinois. Apparently, I do know what’s more embarrassing.
Ryan Succop, South Carolina
One of three FGs during upset loss to Vanderbilt
He begged me to keep him off the list while showering me with compliments. I simply referred to him as a “suck up.”
By the way, did anyone else notice that the Gamecocks had Smelley and Rank playing in the same backfield? I heard they were trying to recruit a kid with the last name of “Funk” to play wide receiver in ’09.
Until next week, try to avoid being a chump.