Geno Auriemma Fired after Loss to Stanford Breaks 90-Game Win Streak (Satire)
After Stanford beat UConn to break the Huskies' NCAA record 90-game winning streak, officials from the University of Connecticut announced that Geno Auriemma would be fired at the conclusion of this year's regular season.
An official from the UConn athletic department released a statement after the game terminating Auriemma's future career:
"At UConn we hold ourselves to a high standard of excellence. In the fast-paced, competitive world of women's college basketball [where a whole five teams actually have a chance of winning the NCAA tournament], we will not allow ourselves to succumb to mediocrity."
The official later added on in a press conference:
"We here at UConn hold ourselves to a standard above the rest of women's basketball. We simply cannot lose a game here and there like Baylor, Tennessee or Stanford. We must rule with absolute power! There is too much at stake with college women's basketball to let this travesty progress any further."
With a 757-122 record including seven national titles, Auriemma will be looking for a new job for the first time since 1985 when he became the head coach at UConn.
Several NCAA men's mid-majors will definitely be giving Auriemma a hard look in the offseason, as will NBA franchises who are looking for an experienced assistant coach.
UConn reportedly has Bobby Knight, Larry Brown and Pat Summit on their shortlist.
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