WWE Monday Night Raw: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Inspired by the fact I'm going to see True Grit tomorrow (my first day off work since it was released on the 22nd), I thought I'd shoot some quick thoughts from RAW using headings from another cowboy film.
So, cliches abound, here are my thoughts on RAW encapsulated with the headings "The Good", "The Bad", and "The Ugly." To my recollection, no one has ever done anything similar or even close to this.
(And before I go any further, I'm a pretty big CM Punk mark so forgive me if any of my views are skewed in his favour.)
RAW was great for comic timing this week. I know Miz attacking The King OUT OF NO WHERE was supposed to be heinous, but when it followed the Anonymous RAW GM wishing the WWE Universe a Happy New Year, I couldn't help but laugh.
Anyone else catch the dude with the "Miz Girl owns Cena" sign? Well done to that man.
Speaking of Cena, he continued his trend of being somewhat funny recently. Well, in his first promo at least (more on this in the "Ugly" section). His Michael Cole jokes weren't very good, but he was never going to be able to top Edge's "tool" remark.
I loved the classic "Youuuuuuuu're Ouuuuuutttttaaaaa Heeeeeerrrrrrrreeeeee" spot with the referee and Miz. They haven't had one of those recently.
Miz's promo before the Lawler match was brilliant. Aside from Cena, I didn't notice many people reacting to the crowd in their promos. I can only assume it was Miz ad-libbing, but it was brilliant. I hope Stone Cold returns in some capacity at some point so that "WHAT!?" never dies out.
Miz also mentioned Twitter. I've heard of that too! I'm so cool...
Eve didn't dance this week; that's always a good thing.
I fell to sleep during the Sheamus/Orton match. That's a good thing for me. How was it? I like Sheamus and all, but putting him in a match with Randy Orton (I have a horrible feeling he'll be in a WWE title match at the Rumble) and they provide a wrestling equivalent of paint drying. Sorry.
King hit a dropkick and didn't break a hip. Cash back.
The show was jam-packed with pointless two-minute-wonder matches.
Last week's RAW was excellent, and that was largely due to the fact we had matches that were given time. This week Santino and Daniel Bryan both won matches with one movie. Ted Dibiase has been buried so much he's going to find start finding dinosaur fossils.
And for whatever reason, Mark Henry was booked at the expense of Tyson Kidd. Readers of the John Report (www.thejohnreport.net) will understand that Mark Henry needs to look strong as he's a threat in the Royal Rumble. When he's squashing someone who has the potential to be a strong mid-card heel, however, it doesn't sit well with me.
Josh Matthews' interview technique is also hilarious/terrible. He asks a question then looks as if he's about to void his bowels.
The Nexus attacked Cena again. I believe that's the 54th time it has happened.
Kaval is no longer with the company, Alicia Fox is. Just sayin'.
JoMo picked his stimulation and the date for his title shot. Next week, Falls Count Anyway. Of course, that means he probably loses cheaply and likely see a Triple Threat at the Rumble as Randy Orton has no direction without the title. And people give Cena a hard time.
Did we really need to see The King versus The Miz again? Their ladder match was fine, but now they're really pushing it for everything it's got. Fortunately, the crowd died before King did, and after some rest holds and stomping, John Morrison interfered.
Speaking of Morrison again: I really don't like that knee thing to the head. I mean, it looks painful, but he can't transition from it without looking awkward.
Is there dissention in the Miz/Riley alliance? I hope not. As much as they'd like us to believe them, Riley without Miz wouldn't last a month. The guy is alright on the mic, but his wrestling skills really do make Miz look like a master technician.
CM Sucks. Just because you say something over and over again doesn't make it funny. It was painful and awkward. Clearly someone wants the crowd to chant "CM Sucks", but I don't see it happening. At least come up with something witty, because a six-year-old could've put that together.
And was there anyone who spat their milk out of their nose at the revelation that CM Punk joined the Nexus? There were so many better ways they could've handled it. Sigh.
The Bellas and Daniel Bryan are going no where. Fortunately, they abandoned the short-lived NXT storyline of a Bella bust up (all of us four NXT viewers will get that reference), but Daniel Bryan could be doing so much more than standing between two chicks who have a job solely for the fact they look the same.
Why bury Ted Dibiase to put over the Cobra? Why bury Tyson Kidd and Jackson Andrews to put over Mark Henry (incidentally, did you know you can see Mark in his red spandex from space? True story). I know I mentioned it in the bad, but it made me so gosh-darn diddily angry I had to mention it again.
Actually, all of the matches this week sucked. Well, Orton/Sheamus may not have but I slept through it, so I don't know.
Heath Slater can't catch a break. First they give him Dolph Ziggler's finisher, and he can't do it very well. Then they give him Shelton Benjamin/MVP's finisher (yeah, take that you ex-employees), and he sucks at that too. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but he's really one of the weaker links in Nexus, and that's saying something considering Jennifer Hudson's husband is also a member.
Once Upon a Time in the West
Well, that's all. RAW was alright: CM Punk has a big feud, and Cena isn't fighting for the WWE Championship.
Then again the rest was boring or frustrating, which is a shame considering how good RAW was last week.
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