Brett Favre, Rex Ryan and the Weirdest Fetishes in Sports
Today it seems as though there are always some eyebrow-raising occurrences on the other side of sports. It's the off-the-field stuff that can range from humorous to disturbing, from harmless to devastating.
We're going to attempt to tackle the wide range of fetishes that have plagued sports with an emphasis on the most recent era.
These are the 15 Weirdest Fetishes in Sports.
15. Rex Ryan and Wife Play "Foot-Ball"
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Is this really what we’re hung up on? I finally decided to watch this video after Rex Ryan’s Wednesday interrogation—I mean presser—and I only had one reaction: That’s it? That’s what has so many people worked up and even has a select few calling for his job?
There are thousands of heinous crimes happening in this country every day, and we want to throw the book at a guy for taping his wife’s feet. It’s harmless. It’s irrelevant. It was more humorous than anything else. Move on.
14. The 2002 New York Mets...Wait, What?
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Just two years removed from the World Series, the Mets collapsed in 2002, and there were reports that at least seven players had been routinely using marijuana.
Pitcher Grant Roberts acknowledged that he was the player smoking marijuana in a picture that was published in a Newsday article before apologizing to the team. Good to know that the Mets were able to “just chill” between losing streaks.
13. Hockey Loves Brawling
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The contradiction between fist-fighting in hockey compared to any other major sports is really quite astounding.
If a player lets the fists fly in the NFL, MLB or NBA, they’re guaranteed to be fined heavily and probably suspended (although Andre Johnson and Cortland Finnegan each avoided suspension for their fisticuffs).
In the NHL (or any other hockey league), you get a five-minute timeout in the penalty box—and if the two participants decide they have unfinished business, they can drop the gloves again as soon as they exit the sin bin. The punishment? Another five-minute timeout.
The NHL has to have the most lenient penalty for fist-fighting on the planet.
12. Joe Morgan Loves Joe Morgan
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Has there ever been such a self-indulging personality in the history of sports broadcasting?
No matter who’s playing, what the score is, what the standings are, it’s all going to come back to one thing in the ESPN announcer booth: Hall of Fame second baseman Joe Morgan is going to remind you that Hall of Fame second baseman Joe Morgan is a Hall of Fame second baseman, and if Hall of Fame second baseman Joe Morgan was faced with a particular situation in a game, this is how Hall of Fame second baseman Joe Morgan would handle it.
He has an unhealthy obsession for talking about what baseball was like when he played.
Mercifully, 2010 was Morgan’s final season in the announcers’ booth for Sunday Night Baseball. Dead silence would be an upgrade.
11. Can Peyton Manning Ever Say "No" to a Commercial?
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Manning is borderline obsessed with doing commercials. Some of them are actually quite funny, but it’s starting to feel like overkill.
It’s starting to make you wonder if there’s ever a TV timeout during an NFL broadcast in which Peyton doesn’t pop up in one of the commercials to say, “Hey, drink this Gatorade! Hey, buy this TV!”
For just one Sunday per NFL season, it might be nice to only watch Peyton do what he does best: Shred the defense.
10. Tom Brady's Hair
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I don’t know whether to focus on Brady’s stubborn refusal to cut his hair or the media’s obsession with it.
The only thing more ridiculous than Brady’s new do is the rampant rumors as to why he’s not cutting his hair: He’s going bald, Gisele won’t let him cut it, he wants to agitate his opponents.
Maybe it’s a game to Brady. Maybe he wants to see just how much of a rise he can get out of people just by not getting a haircut. But if you’re Tom Brady, it may be time to bust out the clippers when even Justin Bieber is making fun of you.
9. Baseball's Dirty Obsession with Cheating
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The Steroid Era, the 1918 Black Sox Scandal, the doctoring of baseballs, the corked bats and on and on.
Baseball and cheating just can’t seem to stay away from each other. Even relatively inconsequential matters such as stealing signs and tipping off the batter routinely occur in today’s game. Even Derek Jeter faked getting hit by a pitch last season!
As a result of cheating, the integrity of many prestigious records (single-season HR record, all-time HR record) has been greatly compromised. All the asterisks in the world can’t undo the fact that Barry Bonds has hit more home runs than anyone in history.
Don’t get me wrong; I think baseball is the greatest game in the world, but unfortunate as it may be, America’s Pastime has been synonymous with cheating for nearly a century, maybe more.
8. Chad Ochocinco: A Bengal That Chases Cougars?
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For a guy who was featured on his own reality dating show, Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch (for those of you who may have missed it, it was comparable to Bret Michaels’ Rock of Love), you would think that Chad would be content to stick with women his own age.
But apparently Chad has a thing for older women. On an episode of The T.Ocho Show, Terrell Owens and Chad joked about how Chad had recently gone on a date with a women in her late 50s. On that same episode, Chad also whistled when an image of Queen Elizabeth was on the screen.
Apparently some bengals like cougars.
7. Joe West’s Ejection Craze
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Whether he does it to “promote his CD,” as Mark Buehrle suggested in 2010, or he just has a quick trigger, “Cowboy” Joe West seems to find a way to routinely make the baseball headlines.
The half country singer, half umpire (try picking that for a double major) seems to get way too much notoriety for someone who’s supposed to be an impartial official.
If there really is any such thing as a Fantasy Umpires league, it’s safe to say West should be picked first overall for years to come.
6. Sean Avery Likes Women’s Clothing
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When most people think of Sean Avery, they think of the trash-talking, rule-bending bad boy of the NHL, and most non-Ranger fans can’t stand him.
Unbeknownst to many, however, Avery is a fashion buff and has expressed interest in becoming a fashion editor after his playing days are over. He revealed to ESPN that he has a strong interest in women’s fashion and that he would occasionally play with dolls as a kid.
Scary to think that Avery could have a hand in all the latest fashion trends for the next generation of high school girls.
5. Alex Rodriguez Likes Mythical Animals
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A-Rod answered his critics with a tremendous offensive output in the 2009 MLB playoffs, but the Yankees third baseman had hit rock bottom prior to the start of that eventual championship-winning season.
A-Rod admitted to using performance-enhancing drugs, but there was one side story that seemed to get lost in the shuffle: the report that A-Rod owns paintings of himself as a centaur.
Though it’s never been proven, one ex-girlfriend claims that A-Rod owns two portraits of himself as a centaur—a half man, half horse—which both hang over his bed. He must have been running out of ideas on what to buy with that $252 million contract.
4. Why Is Jimmy Johnson on an Extenze Commercial?
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Why would he do this?! Why would he want to do this?! Why would he need to do this?!
Safe to say Jimmy Johnson is the only former NFL head coach with multiple Super Bowl rings to appear on a commercial to promote the use of “Extenze” pills as an avid user. In one of the commercials, he wraps everything up by saying, “Go long with Extenze!”
3. Marv Albert's Indiscretions
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Ever since his 1997 sexual assault chargers, Albert’s name has been all but guaranteed to be followed by pure disgust amongst the common man.
Though he was widely regarded as a multi-talented announcer, his reputation suffered irreparable damage when he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and battery chargers after a 42-year-old woman accused him of biting and sodomizing her, amongst other things.
Albert was fired by NBC, only to be rehired less than two years later.
2. Tim Donaghy and the Almighty Dollar
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Does a sickening addiction for large sums of money resulting in the manipulation of the outcome of professional basketball games count as a fetish? I think so.
In 2007, Donaghy pled guilty to two federal charges that he bet on games that he officiated. Though NBA commissioner David Stern referred to Donaghy as a “criminal” who was acting on his own, the credibility of NBA officials has suffered.
Unlike many of the other personalities on our countdown, there is nothing redeemable about Donaghy’s actions. Nothing salvageable.
1. Brett Favre's Text-Gate
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Another day, another bizarre twist in “Favre Watch.” So is it time to waste half of SportsCenter speculating about his impending retirement or about his risqué text messages to Jenn Sterger? The latter.
Apparently, Favre may have wanted more than just pictures.
Favre is a long way removed from the good ol’ country boy, folk hero image that he carefully constructed during all those years in Green Bay. No wonder he doesn’t want to retire: He might have way too much time on his hands for other indiscretions.