WWE: Luke's Detailed TLC Predictions 2010
It is the season to be jolly, it is the season for some TLC to all people. However, WWE has a slightly different take on this acronym and the semantics behind it:
This involves putting people through wooden tables, throwing people off of 15- foot ladders and hitting people repeatedly with steel chairs. You have just got to love professional wrestling.
Last month we saw a 'traditional' Survivor Series PPV which I must say was one of WWE's better PPV efforts this year, hence why I gave it a 7/10 rating. Now we move swiftly onto the TLC PPV, which happens to be WWE's last PPV event of the year.
Which is a good thing because of all the gimmick matches in the WWE, TLC is by far my favourite.
But it gets even better: WWE haven't just made two gimmick matches, they've gone the whole hog and made every single match a gimmick match.
I must explain that I am a huge fan of gimmick matches (most of them anyway), they add an extra dimension to a PPV. Hence why I am overly delighted that every single match will feature tables, ladders or chairs.
I have huge hopes for this PPV, I honestly think that WWE would have to mess this up tenfold for it not to be PPV of the year. With that said, let's make some festive predictions...
Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler (c) Vs. Kofi Kingston Vs. Jack Swagger
This is a ladder match featuring three of the WWE's brightest young stars, and therefore I cannot think of a better way to open the show.
Dolph Ziggler is a show stealer, which is why WWE normally opens their PPV's with him, it gets everything off to a good start. Ziggler is a great champion, he puts on a good match every time he is used and along with the cougar (Vickie Guerrero) they have been quite the power couple on Smackdown!
Kofi Kingston will provide the high spots of the match. He will jump on and leap off of ladders throughout and WWE may have to have the censors ready to block out the 'Holy @&%$' chants that emanate from the hardcore fans. You have got to love PG....not.
Lastly we have the All-American American Jack Swagger, and he has had a rough Autumn. From being World Champion he has slid down the card and has at times been used as nothing but a jobber.
To cap it all off, his Eagle mascot has been abused and beaten up every week. But we all know Jack deserves better than this; he is the best mat wrestler in the company and possesses a huge skill set.
This match should be fantastic taking all things into account, and I wish JR was commentating to truly bring over the enormity of every high spot in the match; nobody does it like him.
I feel that Dolph has been champion for a while now and that Kofi and him need to move onto other things for a bit. A great way to end the year for Swagger would be to win the Intercontinental Title, and its hard to argue that there is anyone more deserving on Smackdown! at the moment.
Winner: Jack Swagger (New Champion)
Natalya (c) & Beth Phoenix Vs. Lay-Cool (Tag Team Tables Match)
Did I just type that correctly? Divas? Table matches? Non-title?! That never happens in WWE. But the fact is that its happening this Sunday.
WWE creative have to be praised here for having the nerve to suggest this to Vince, and I think all things being considered that this could be the best diva's match of the year. In this match we have three established women's wrestlers and one that has got better every time she steps between the ropes.
As always, the success of this match will depend upon the time it is given. If WWE gives it five minutes it will be a waste of time, if WWE give it 10, then we have a lot of potential here.
How will the match end? Well this is Beth Phoenix's return match and you have to think that there is no chance in hell that she is losing it.
Therefore I predict that a member of Lay-Cool is getting Glam-Slammed through a table, maybe both of them depending on what rules WWE decide to make five minutes before the match.
Lay-Cool will be back with a vengeance.
Winners: Beth Phoenix and Natalya
WWE Championship: The Miz (c) Vs. Randy Orton (Tables Match)
Last month I predicted that The Miz would win the WWE Championship at Survivor Series, well it turns out I was a day early. In a historic moment, The Miz cashes in his briefcase on an injured Orton to become your WWE champion.
To all the Miz-Crits who have written articles slamming WWE's decision, I will say now that it is possibly the best move of 2010.
The Miz has bought charisma back to the WWE title ever since he won it. He has been promoting the company more than ever since winning the title appearing on TV and radio daily.
He has been a stellar champion on Raw as well, and having a protagonist champion is something that has long been missed in WWE. Even JR thinks that Miz will be a good champion.
Look here for The Miz to retain his belt in perhaps similar fashion to how Sheamus won his WWE title this time last year, by his opponent accidentally falling through a table. Whatever happens, The Miz will not win clean and nor should he, seeing as he is the underdog heel champion.
The match should be decent enough, expect Alex Riley to make his presence felt and possibly Michael Cole who will be prevented from entry by The King.
Winner: The Miz (Still Champion)
Sheamus Vs. John Morrison (No. 1 Contenders Match)
I am surprised that WWE made this match for the PPV. I cannot remember the last time we has a No. 1 contenders match at a PPV, I'm not sure if its a good or bad thing to be honest.
All I know is that booking wise, Morrison is the strong favourite. He suffered a loss to Sheamus in the finals of the King Of The Ring and was unceremoniously thrown onto a ladder on Raw.
But of course the main reason Morrison will probably win is because he is a face and The Miz is a heel, and the two former tag team partners facing each other for the title at the Royal Rumble has an appeal factor to it.
However, I do have to question WWE here. I honestly do not think that Morrison is ready for a main event push yet, his character is just old and stale.
He has a few flashy moves in the ring, and that does not necessarily make you a good wrestler. As a matter of fact, there are a couple of faults with Morrison's game: He punches like a girl and his finisher is dangerous and he botches it nearly every time.
That being said, I think WWE will still go with Morrison. To me Sheamus has proven his worth before in the main event and would therefore be a better choice if the WWE Champion was babyface.
Expect a physical match here with some brutal spots.
Winner: John Morrison
John Cena Vs Wade Barrett (Chairs Match)
Many people reckon that the divas match at TLC or any PPV is the time to go for refreshments, not me though because I am more excited by the divas match than I am this one.
My word WWE has let us down with this storyline. First of all Cena was forced to join Nexus after a loss to Barrett at Hell In A Cell, a period that featured more of Cena being bullied than being made to actually work as a part of Nexus and beat up fellow babyfaces.
Then at last month's Survivor Series PPV he was 'fired'. This has to be the biggest joke of the year seen as he appeared at every since Raw with many tickets (why?) and proceeded to physically harm every member of Nexus by jumping over the barricade and using the announce table.
He even smashed up a perfectly good car. I have a strange feeling that if I or you tried that, we wouldn't be so lucky.
Not once was Cena 'arrested' or escorted from the building by security. As a matter of fact the only good part of this storyline has been CM Punk's commentary when Cena did such acts including: 'This is not the Spanish announce table', 'We have the worst security in the world', 'I called the cops on Cena' and everybody's favourite quote that will go down in history 'He spilt my diet soda!'
Under four weeks after being fired, Cena has been re-instated (hip hip bloody hooray), and now we have this match between Barrett and Cena which practically serves as Cena's revenge party. If you think Barrett will win here, then I advise you go and see CM Punk, so he save you from whatever drugs you're taking.
Barrett is about to get buried.
Winner: John Cena
Fatal 4 Way TLC Match For The World Heavyweight Championship
The only TLC match of the evening has to be the one that closes the show, and as a main event this looks promising. Adding Del Rio and Mysterio to the match is a good move, as Kane is hardly a TLC specialist and a singles match would have been limited with Kane in it.
For the past four weeks we have been forced to endure what I believe is the reason non-wrestling fans are so critical of wrestling and why some of us see it as an embarrassment to reveal that we are wrestling fans.
I mean come on, we had Paul Bearer being wheeled around backstage by Edge bound and gagged while Kane proceeded to be the worst rescuer in the history of humanity. I mean watching some of those scenes was painfully bad, it made me question why I like wrestling. How can anyone take that seriously?
Now that Paul Bearer is once again mortally injured we do not have to endure anymore ridiculous 'Kane!' screaming and focus on the match itself. It is my pick to be match of the night.
I think this will be a terrific bout even under a PG rating and I think that with The Miz retaining the WWE title the WWE will want to end the PPV on a high.
If Barrett Vs. Cena main events, then I give up on wrestling. Kane has been champion for nearly six months and I feel that WWE will relieve him of his duties as champion Sunday night, which is a bit of a shame.
Mysterio and Del Rio will probably take each other out, Edge will put Kane through a few tables in the big finale and become the new world champion.
Winner: Edge (New Champion)