Bo Pelini Announces He's Headed to Miami in Hour-Long ESPN Special (Satire)

Ross BenesContributor IIDecember 10, 2010

Bo Pelini at Press Conference in Coral Gables after being announced as Miami's new head coach
Bo Pelini at Press Conference in Coral Gables after being announced as Miami's new head coach

Last night ESPN held an hour-long special titled The Decision in which Bo Pelini announced that he would be coaching the Miami Hurricanes next football season. 

Prior to ESPN's special there had been growing speculation that Pelini was a top candidate to fill the head coaching vacancy at Miami.

The rumor mill hit full speed when the Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel reported that Pelini spoke with Miami athletic director Kirby Hocutt despite denials from Pelini to address rumors and innuendo.

Pelini agreed to do the ESPN special after watching The Dark Knight, where apparently he was inspired by Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker. "If you're good at something, never do it for free," Pelini told the Lincoln Journal Star after being asked why he chose to be a part of an ESPN special during bowl preparations.

Pelini also quipped, "C'mon man. It's Washington. I think I can afford to take a few days off for Christ sakes."

The ESPN broadcast featured several short documentary clips from Pelini's days as a high school quarterbacks coach to his rise as the head coach of a big-time college football program. Clips were dispersed throughout a one-on-one in-depth interview with Kirk Herbstreit.

The interview concluded with Herbstreit telling Pelini, "We've all been waiting Bo. It's time to tell the world if you are going to be supported by the most passionate fans in college football (Nebraska), where there's a lot of pressure, or the most apathetic fans in all of sports (Miami), where there's still a lot of pressure even though few people actually care."

Bo paused, looked Herbstreit square in the eyes and said, "Um, in this fall, man, this is very tough. In this fall I'ma take my talents to South Beach and um, join the Miami Hurricanes."

Proceeds from the ESPN special were donated to the Dade County Police Department in hopes that the Hurricanes will "stay out of trouble" during Pelini's tenure there.

Chris Petersen, Turner Gill, Craig Bohl, and Randy Shannon are reportedly candidates for the Nebraska head coaching job.