Clemson a Joke? Now There's Proof!

Daniel SpratlinContributor ISeptember 4, 2008

I decided to pick on Clemson and found it to be only too easy. Sort of like playing them, huh?

Q: Why did they cancel the Christmas play at Clemson last year?
A: They couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

Q: What do a tornado and a Clemson cheerleader have in common?
A: They both just end up in trailer parks.

Q: How do you know you're in a Clemson bar?
A: If you call the number on the bathroom wall you get the farm report.

Q: How do you keep the Tigers out of the end zone?
A: Put it in a library.

Q: What is the most common STD at Clemson?
A: Rabies.

Q: Why don't Clemson grads use 911 in an emergency?
A: Because they can't find "eleven" on the phone dial.

Q: How do you compliment a Clemson fan?
A: Nice tooth.

Q: Why don't you see many Clemson Pharmacists?
A: They can't figure out how to put the medicine bottles in the printer!

Q: What is the difference between a Clemson cheerleader and a catfish?
A: One has whiskers and smells—the other is a fish.

Q: How do you keep a Clemson girl from biting her nails?
A: Make her wear shoes.

Q: How do you break a Clemson guy's finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.

Q: What kind of jokes do they tell in Poland?
A: Clemson jokes!

A Georgia, Florida, and Clemson student were all having lunch together on a bridge outside Clemson. The Georgia student opens his lunch box and says, "A hot-dog again! If I have to eat one more hot-dog I'm going to jump off this bridge!"

The Florida student then opens his lunch box and exclaims, "Salad again! If I have to eat salad one more time I'm going to jump too!"

Lastly the Clemson student opens his lunchbox and complains, "Peanut butter and jelly! If I get peanut butter and jelly one more time I'm going to end it all too!"

The next day the Georgia student finds another hot dog and jumps...the Florida student got salad again and threw himself off the bridge too...finally the Clemson student finds peanut butter and jelly again and jumps to his demise as well.

Later when the three mothers were grieving the Georgia mother cries, "If I had only known he didn't like hot dogs, " and the Florida mother cried, "I thought salad was good for him." The Clemson mother then exclaimed, "I don't understand...he fixed his own lunch every day!"

Have a joke about a team you'd like to add? Just post them as comments!