WWE Crystal Ball, Part Two: Looking Into the Future To See What's on the Horizon

Nick BolyardContributor IIIDecember 9, 2010

The Miz is in the Christmas Spirit
The Miz is in the Christmas Spirit

The crystal ball and all of it's magic is back!  It uses sorcery and Jedi powers to predict what's to come in the future, for Raw and Smack Down.  Just like last time, this is a "SPOILER ALERT".  So get ready to be amazed by the crystal ball's future telling skills.

The World Heavyweight Championship

As we will see on Smack Down this Friday, Paul Bearer will accidentally be thrown off a cliff by Kane. This rivalry is starting to really heat up, as Edge continues to play mind games with the Big Red Monster.  On the plus side, Paul Bearer has been stuffed head first into the sewer and buried in cement...he'll be fine, falling off a cliff is nothing for him.  

As for the title match at TLC, Edge will come out victorious against Kane.  The rivalry will come to a head at Royal Rumble, as Edge again defeats Kane. Afterwards, a returning Christian attacks Edge (turning heel).  The two feud and Edge drops the title at Elimination Chamber, culminating in a match of E vs. C at Wrestle Mania.  This is going to totally reek of awesomeness!

John/Juan Cena and Wade Barrett

Seriously, is this still going on?  This storyline was boring in July and it's boring now.  Now that Nexus has seemingly turned on Barrett, Cena can finally get revenge. Don't fret Ce-Nation, John Cena will get "rehired" officially at TLC.  The crystal ball says John Cena vs. Wade Barrett at TLC, in a Ladder Match.  Above the ring hangs a contract.  If Cena wins he gets rehired, if Barrett wins, he's gone forever.  Obviously, Cena is going to win. It may be the worst ladder match of all time, between two uncoordinated jackasses.  This is the match where you go get a snack or take a bathroom break.

Michael Cole

HAHAHA HE GOT RKO'd.  There is no prediction, I just thought that was funny.

Triple H

According to the powers of magic, Triple H should be returning in the next couple weeks.  He will clearly have Sheamus in his sights.  We will get to find out who the King truly is.  This will lead to a match at Royal Rumble, as Trips tries to get revenge and Sheamus tries to prove he isn't totally boring.  I'm sure Sheamus will continue to give us Irish history lessons...maybe he should have been a teacher.  Triple H is very unpredictable, especially if he goes back to the way he used to do things.  One thing I will guarantee is this:  TRIPLE H WILL SPIT WATER!

NxT 4

It's back to male wrestlers, yet nobody cares.  There will be no winner.   We all lose when this show airs.

This has been a prediction from the crystal ball.  Thank you for reading and feel free to leave your own predictions or constructive comments.  Wait? You're saying this told nothing, that it was a waste of time?  By keeping my predictions vague, it gives me a larger margin for error.  You're asking what's the point of vague predictions? Hey...THIS WAS A SUCCESSFUL UNVEILING! Go back to work.

WWE Championship

How could I forget this?  I am proud to say Miz, much like Sheamus a year ago, will get a fluke win.  However, Orton will defeat Miz at Royal Rumble.  Miz will fail to recapture at Elimination Chamber. He will then do battle with someone like John Morrison or Daniel Bryan at Wrestle Mania.  

In related news, the three way gay marriage of Miz, Alex Riley and Michael Cole will be taking place.  I am not sure what they have to do to get a three way marriage but all the Cole Miners and Mizfits will be looking forward to it.  It's not my way of life but bless them and whatever makes them happy.