My Grown Up Christmas List (Sports Version)

Hey Santa, give me a Thumbs Up if you can hook me up on my list!
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Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy this year.  Well, better than I was last year.  Anyway, my kids have created a Christmas list for you, and so I thought I would create one too, but it being sports related. 

Some of them are going to be hard to pull off, but if anyone can do it, it would be you.  Or a miracle from God...whichever. 

Anyway, have a great Christmas season, and I want to thank you in advance for getting the things on my list.  Merry Christmas Santa.

PS...this year, please put the seat down in the bathroom, and wash your hands after eating the wings I leave you.  The seat was wet and you got BBQ sauce all over the remote last season, and I got the blame for it

***UPDATE***

Off to a good start...one item down, seven more to go.

Fire McDaniels

Denver head coach Josh McDaniels
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Dear Santa, as an avid Bronco fan, I was excited in the early days of 2009, when Josh McDaniels was named head coach, replacing Mike Shanahan.  I love Shanahan, but I thought it was time for a change...bring some new blood to the organization. 

Boy was I wrong.  After going 6-0 to start the 2009 season, McDaniels has won only five games since.  Throw in the fact that he traded a whiny, prima donna of a QB, and now a spy-gate issue.

I think it is time for a change...again.

***UPDATE***

Santa, thanks for the early Christmas present on this one.

Bring an NBA Title To OKC

Kevin Durant of the OKC Thunder
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Dear Santa, I know a lot of people think us Okie's are not a "major league" city.  But I think OKC has done an AWESOME job with the only professional team in the state, the Oklahoma City Thunder. 

I'm sorry for the way things went down in Seattle, but hey...it's a business.  Could you bring an NBA title to OKC this year?  I think it would be great for the league, the city, the state and everyone. 

Well, maybe except for the city of Seattle.

Make The Royals Competitive

Kansas City Royals
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Dear Santa, this may be the toughest item on my list.  In a way, I am not asking for much, but in a way, this may be stretching it. 

Santa, can you make the Kansas City Royals competitive in 2011? 

I'm not asking for a World Series title (I mean, you're Santa, not God) but just to NOT be "Mathematically Eliminated" by the end of April would be AWESOME!  Sure, being bad has it's advantages...ticket prices are cheap, you can sit anywhere in the stadium, no long lines for the bathroom, etc...but c'mon...

Twenty-five years and counting has been long enough. 

Qatar Hosting World Cup?

Qatar World Cup 2022
Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

Dear Santa, please bring me an explination as to why FIFA choose Qatar over the US for World Cup hosting in 2022?

I mean, c'mon...we sent president Bill Clinton and Morgan Freeman as our delegates.  Seriously...Qatar? 

I'm sure the 100 degree heat druing games will be ok, and the crime in that area will be at an all time low by then...but seriously?  What was FIFA thinking? 

Money talks, I guess.

NCAA Football Playoffs

TCU Football
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Dear Santa, could you also bring me a playoff system to NCAA football? 

No dis-respect to TCU, but we need a playoff to separate the contenders from the pretenders.  It's really not hard...you go back to an 11 game regular season, with no conference championship.  You use the BCS poll as a way to seed the teams...No. 1 plays No. 8, No. 2 plays No. 7, No. 3 plays No. 6, No. 4 plays No. 5. 

Your first round playoffs will be held at the Cotton, Alamo, Rose and Fiesta.  Second round sites are at Orange and Sugar, national title game at one of those sites again.  And just like how it is now, every year, the sites would rotate.  See. 

If a dumb old, broke Okie can come up with something, why can't those bone-heads in the BCS?

Love For Kyle Brotzman

Kyle Brotzman
Otto Kitsinger III/Getty Images

Dear Santa, I am not a Boise State Bronco fan, but could you please bring some love for kicker Kyle Brotzman?  Just when I thought Boise was heading to the the "elite" club of college football, Brotzman got the boot from several "fans," including death threats and more. 

However, it was good to see that the real "fans" stepped up and gave him some love.  See, when you are a NCAA powerhouse, you will win and lose games like that...so show some class.  If you want to be a fan of a NCAA powerhouse, take the good with the bad. 

Keep your head up Kyle...the real fans of BSU are behind you!

Brett Favre

Brett Favre
Nick Laham/Getty Images

Dear Santa, will you please bring some cooth to Brett Favre, and make him realize he needs to retire before he gets killed? 

I love the guy...and I have a lot of respect for him, even with all the "I'll retire, No I Won't" talk that goes on at the end of every football season.  But dude...Sunday's hit on you should be a sign...STAY DOWN!  I know with all the allegations around him his "sexting", he probably doesn't want to be home with his wife that much, but man...help a brother out and bring him some sense.

ESPN

ESPN
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Dear Santa, can you bring the people over at ESPN, some ideas on how to NOT ruin highlights? 

Seriously, my stomach churns now every time I try to watch ESPN and their 100 sister channels.  If you want to be a comedian, that's fine...otherwise, just report the scores and quit trying to be so cute and funny. 

ESPN has the monopoly on sports TV, but some of the things they do (see also The Decision) or say (see also Sportscenter) just drives me nuts.  You know how when your wife trys to talk to you during the game, and it just makes watching the game that much more less enjoyable?  Well, that's what it is getting like, when I watch Sportscenter.