Keeping Up with the Joneses

Brad Creech by Contributor Written on September 02, 2008
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With the 22nd pick of the 2008 NFL Draft, the Dallas Cowboys select...Felix Jones?? I think every Illini fan across the entire world was shocked when that announcement was made. Even the camera crew for the draft was zeroed in on Rashard Mendenhall during Dallas' first round pick.

The look on Mendenhall's face summed up the feelings of virtually every Cowboy fan in the nation: dumbfounded. After all, Jones was a mere back up to the best running back in the draft, Darren Mcfadden, and Mendenhall was one of the leading rushers in all of college football for 2007. He also recieved the "Big Ten Player of the Year" award.

Not what you were expecting? Maybe you should have. Looking back at Jerry Jones' recruiting process, you can see a pattern that remains constant. Why select a back-up over a proven player like Mendenhall? The only answer that makes any sense is that the guy deemed "Little Tiger" must have at least one other Jones on the sidelines with him at all times and a catchy nickname like his, would'nt hurt either.

Since their former runningback, Julius, was traded during the off-season, Jerry was forced to go out and get another "Jones" to carry out the family tradition. That guy just happened to be Felix Jones, a.k.a. Felix the Cat, from Arkansas.

With the new acquisition, Jerry had to be feeling pretty good about his accomplishments. After reviewing everything and filling in the empty "Jones" slot, he must not have been satisfied. After all, two Joneses only got him to the second round of the playoffs last year. So what can three Joneses get you? Now you're starting to think like Jerry. The thing is, who else out there is named Jones?

Enter Pacman. No, not the lovable yellow arcade hero who enjoys eating ghosts, but the trouble-making cornerback and explosive kick returner from Tennessee, also with the last name Jones.  Pacman is a great acquisition to the Cowboys, due to their weaknesses in special teams and at the cornerback position. 

Now that he's with the Cowboys, it's back to his real name, Adam Jones. He says that he left his "Pacman" side back in Memphis. The problem is, no one knows how long it will stay there.

So now that the "Jones" scandal has been surfaced, how do you think the 2008 season will pan out? Is Felix really the cats' meow? Will "Pacman" show his true colors once again? Will Indiana Jones become the new quarterback for "America's Team"? Or will the Cowboys end the season just a bunch of characters still "Jones-ing" for that Super Bowl victory?

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written on September 02, 2008 Humor

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