Monday Night Recap: UCLA vs. Tennessee

So last night, as I sat down to a nice hot dinner, I turned on ESPN like always and had a stroke of not-so-original genius.

What if I documented my reactions to this UCLA-Tennessee game? ORIGINAL, RIGHT???

Now I know I ruined all bleacher bums' days by coming out and admitting my lack of creativity.

So that means replying to this article with "you suck," or "way to copy so and so from such and such blah blah blah i don't care blah blah carrots," is useless.

Maybe you were not going to say either. In that case, pat yourself on the back, and get ready to pee yourself with glee as laughter ensues.

So let me tell you what I was looking for before this whole scheebang started. The list is as follows:

1. Beautiful UCLA cheerleaders

2. Beautiful people from LA

3. Celebrities

4. Phil Fulmer

5. UT cheerleaders

6. Crude comments from amateurish "sports writers" on bleacherreport.com

Let's begin shall we? Don't forget that list. It's all important but especially No. 6.

FIRST QUARTER:

-What's with these orange pants? Tennessee might lose because of these sherbet-y, dreamsicle pants.

-Can't wait for Todd's taste of the town!!! What does LA cuisine have in store for us? *crosses fingers for CPK*

-Orange creamsicle pants

-I would TOTALLY let Rick Ne...Nehui...Neuhesil...that guy from Washington and Colorado...participate in my NCAA basketball pool. He seems nice.

-Phil Fulmer sighting! (6:30) He looks round tonight...sort of like the Western Kentucky mascot except in orange sherbet.

-1:24. First camera shot of UCLA cheerleaders, and the first quarter is coming to a close. UNACCEPTABLE. (Note: I know why they don't show them now. I almost missed that punt block because I wasn't looking at the play. Yikes!)

-Can we REALLY say that Pitt losing to Bowling Green was an upset? I have never thought Dave Wannstedt was a good coach, and how does he still have a coaching job?

End of 1st Quarter: UCLA: 7         Tennessee: 0

SECOND QUARTER:

-J-CrOmPz (alternate name for Johnathon Crompton) has looked shaky. Rumor has it that the creamsicle pants have thrown him.

-Hardesty does his best Usain Bolt impression and BOLTS...for the end zone. Oh man.

-They have talked about Peyton Manning more than they have shown the UCLA cheerleaders. Wtf, mate?

-The Aflac trivia question ends up being TEE MARTIN HAHAHA!!! What an NFL Euro stud.

-1:19. Kevin Crap throws INT number 672 tonight. Tee Martin isn't looking half bad right about now.

-Daniel "I Kick Like Abraham" Lincoln misses. Again.

-It's just about halftime and all I can think about is the lack of UCLA cheerleader shots and how UCLA possibly remains in this game.

Halftime: Ricky boy's team: 7         Phat Phil's team: 14

THIRD QUARTER:

-8:00ish Eric Berry just baptized someone. You don't mess with Texas. Or Tennessee.

-The Taste of the Town: The Apple Pan. This place looks tasty. A nice mom and pop burger joint in Tinsletown. I like it.

-BLITZ!

-John Chavis.

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