Michelle McCool: The Musical!

Chris FreemanCorrespondent IDecember 2, 2010

Michelle McCool: The Musical!

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    Michelle McCool, arguably the most notorious Diva in history...maybe.

    Hello Bleachers! The WWE Divas Division has a great history, though currently is in a slump. Not to worry though, for Kaitlyn has won NXT Season 3!!! ...Anyone? "Is this mic on?" Ugh. Well at least Natalya is the Divas champ, Beth Phoenix is back, and hopefully, AJ and Naomi will finally get to be on the main roster.

    One of the biggest complaints of the WWE Divas Division is, of course, Michelle McCool. While I do feel that she is talented in the ring (compared to some of the other Divas, that is), she has this vibe about her that really irks me.

    Maybe its the fact that she is always being pushed because she is the Undertaker's wife. Maybe its the fact that she cannot draw heat on her own, so has to rely on more talented mic workers, such as Layla and Vickie Guerrero. Maybe its just her slightly annoying voice. Okay, you got me...VERY annoying voice.

    Love her or hate her, McCool has had a great career! Maybe...It depends on how you define the term "great."

    Anyway, doesn't anyone ever wonder what Michelle McCool's career would be like if it were a MUSICAL??? ...No one? Oh well, I'm doing it anyway.

    Let's take a look at pivotal moments in Michelle McCool's career and try to come up with songs that fit those moments...

Signing With WWE: Kevin Rudolf's "I Made It."

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    Who makes up these ratings???

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_7baOCYg-Q 

    Sorry, I would've put the video up, but my Internet connection is terrible.

    It seems a little cheesy, yes, but Michelle McCool did indeed "make it." Despite not winning the Divas Search (losing out to Christy Hemme), McCool was signed on to the Smackdown brand for a three-year deal.

    The lyrics fit true with her situation and, inevitably, her future. "I look up to the sky and now the world is mine. I've known it all my life. I made it, I made it."

    So from here, she was at the bottom, looking up to to the top where, as we all know, she has stood for so long (and hopefully not too much longer).

The "Sexy Teacher" Gimmick: Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher"

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    Meh...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0XLKcMoXRE

    Another easy one. After being moved to Deep South Wrestling (where she worked as an interviewer and commentator) and then to OVW (for training and as a manager), Michelle was finally brought back, this time, as a "sexy teacher."

    In case you guys didn't know (I know you do, but I felt like saying this), Michelle McCool was a teacher before she became a WWE Diva. Quick fact, did you know that Robbie E. is/was also a teacher? Imagine being one of Ms. McCool's students and then seeing her do this! Not too bad, but still.

    Anyway, she started managing the team of K.C. James and Idol Stevens and they became "The Teacher's Pets." Man, even a team like that gets a name? Oh well, its clever.

First Divas Champion: Kanye West's "Gold Digger"

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    A title that she has, unfortunately, become synonymous with.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY

    Michelle finally became a face again and began dating Chuck Palumbo and Jamie Noble (both kayfabe) and feuded with other Divas.

    Not long after that, she was crowned the inaugural Divas Champion at The Great American Bash, by defeating Natalya Neidhart (ironic, isn't it?).

    This event signified McCool stepping up to the top of the Divas division, where she has stayed for so long. The song "Gold Digger" by Kanye West is the best way I can describe this situation. She began dating the Undertaker and since then, hasn't strayed too far from the top. I'm not saying she is only dating/married to Taker because she is a gold digger.

    The fact that she has a husband who is a higher-up of the company means that she'll probably never be de-pushed, unless Taker gives them permission. This perk, that comes with being associated with Undertaker, makes her a "gold digger" of sorts. Not to Undertaker, but to WWE.

Formation of LayCool: Bikini Kill's "Rebel Girl"

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    You guys know this duo? Yeah...I bet you do.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZxxhxjgnC0

    After losing her first Divas Championship to Maryse, McCool became a heel again, by attacking the special referee of the match, Maria. Not too long after, McCool became the Women's Champion.

    Then, she formed an alliance with...well, you guys already know. Layla and Michelle McCool (LayCool as they were to be called) began a feud with Mickie James. You guys remember "Piggie James?" This was the feud that spawned it.

    With Layla by her side, McCool was able to draw the kind of heat that comes with being a heel champion. However, it wasn't her own doing. Layla, whose heel-like persona and annoying antics, really get the crowd going. In this sense, like the song "Rebel Girl" says, Layla was "the queen of McCool's world."

    She became the reason for McCool's latest "success" and in this sense, is the queen of McCool's world: the top of the Divas Division (take the hint, WWE).

    Just a side note; The chorus of "Rebel Girl" is the only part of the song that applies to LayCool. The rest is off-topic.

Unified Divas Champ: Jim Johnston's "Not Enough For Me"

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    Our First Unified Divas Champ...oh well, Melina had just returned anyway.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2VVkoSnKyc 

    (Yeah, I know...her theme song. What can I say? It fits.)

    After only two short years of two separate Diva Titles, WWE thought it would be best to unify the titles into one. This was when Melina (the Divas champion) and Michelle McCool (NOT the Women's Champion) faced off at Night of Champions.

    The Women's title was obvious "not enough" for Michelle McCool. Being the first Divas Champion was "not enough." She needed even more gold (silver and pink?) around her waist.

    She needed to become the first-ever Unified Divas champion. She even rigged the votes in LayCool's hat to make sure she would be the first. Speaking of which...

Potential Break Up?: Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold"

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    When will we see THIS happen to LayCool?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X75mry1LcFg 

    There have been a few times when WWE tricked you into thinking that LayCool were about to split up. It all started when Michelle McCool rigged the votes to make sure she drew her own name and become the first Unified Divas Champ. Layla claimed that she would not be in Michelle's corner for the match because of this.

    During the match, Layla was one of the many Lumberjills and just stood back and watched with anger in her eyes. However, these two moments were just a ruse, as Layla ended up attacking Melina, allowing Michelle McCool to pick up the victory.

    There was another time recently, where Michelle and Layla were in a match against whoever (I forgot who but it was probably Kelly Kelly, Natalya, Eve, or one/both of the Bellas) when Michelle accidentally got rammed into Layla.

    Usually, for some reason, the teammate that is rammed thinks their partner did it on purpose. This seemed likely to happen, until, well, it didn't.

    "They're hot, then they're cold. They're yes, then they're no." Are they going to break up or not!? "Hot N Cold" by Katy Perry describes this situation the best. It seems that WWE keep changing their mind about breaking these two up and letting Layla go on to be the star that she is.

    Sure she can't wrestle, but neither can 90 percent of the Divas. Plus, she got a clean win over Melina after NOC. With LayCool losing their titles to Natalya, we could possibly see them break up, but that is for the future to decide.

    Well, let's end it here. Michelle McCool has has a very "musical" past, if I do say so myself. Haha...screw it, just comment and LIKE it, if you like it.