Dear College Football Fans,
I would like to personally explain to you why the Boise State Broncos are OBVIOUSLY God’s gift to football.
First, let me begin with Friday night's game.
We wanted a shot at Auburn. I guess we thought Nevada was just going to be an easy win because we always blow out inferior opponents—oh wait...well, we crapped that one.
But we're still 36-2 in the last 38 games. Besides, the loss was in OT to a should-be-top-five team because they beat us. Also, we can still hang on to that win over Oklahoma WAY BACK IN 2006. We beat the team that always loses in bowls that long ago, so we obviously deserve to be crowned champions every year since.
We want to play the big schools, but they just refuse to pay us $1 million when they could buy a win for $300,000. They are just being mean.
We aren't asking too much because other programs make much more than we do; we want to be treated like an SEC school, but we want to be payed like a Big Sky school.
We wanted to move to a better conference, but we didn't get an invitation. We didn't publicly express a desire to switch conferences until the move to the MWC was announced, but the Pac-10 should have known to invite us.
The other schools who left the MWC were just scared of us, even though they were moving their programs to the next step. They just didn't want to be in the conference with us.
But the future MWC is weaker than the current WAC, so we will continue to beat up inferior opponents. We should be considered for the title in the new MWC too.
This season, we beat a good Virginia Tech team, who obviously wasn't ready to play at the beginning of the year; we also played the all-powerful Wyoming and Toledo teams as other non-conference games; and who could forget that signature victory over the Oregon State Beavers? They are MUCH better than their .500 record, I swear.
We played them, so we should know.
Oh...oops, forgot about Nevada. But hey, they are a very good team. After all, they barely edged Fresno State (You know, that team that got embarrassed by the worst team in the SEC).
Nevada also beat like 10 ranked teams this year before playing us. They even beat No. 116 New Mexico State AND No. 118 San Jose State—see, two ranked teams right there.
So, we should only drop to No. 5. We are SO much better than those other one-loss teams out there. Look at pathetic LSU: They lost to Auburn for goodness sake, and they only beat five teams that were in the top 25.
All of you Bronco haters out there, well, screw you because "we" are for real. Just wait and see.
Next year, we open with the Mighty Georgia Bulldogs. I know we laughed at Auburn and said Georgia was pathetic, so the Tigers shouldn't have had such a close game.
But next year, Georgia is going to be the second best team in the nation behind us. We canceled the Ole Miss game because they are beneath us. It doesn't matter that they played three top 15 teams in three straight weeks or that the other five teams in their division are ranked.
I mean, come on, our whole conference has two teams ranked. So, doesn't that mean our conference deserves some respect?
All of this to say, look out Big Six, because the little brother Broncos want to be taken seriously.
The Wannabe Broncos