LeBron James T-Shirts You Won't See at the Cleveland Cavaliers-Miami Heat Game
LeBron James and the Miami Heat roll into Cleveland Thursday, Dec. 2nd and the Cavs fans are being asked to keep it classy. In other words, leave your weapons home and don't wear any anti-LeBron T-shirts.
They made a special plea: "DO NOT WEAR ANTI-LEBRON T-SHIRTS."
The Cavs are asking their fans to make a special sacrifice, especially since Cleveland is a LeBron-based economy.
Anti-LeBron T-shirt sales were the only thing keeping the town from falling into Lake Erie.
Nothing sells like the animus.
Gloat makes gold. And since the Cavs have a better record than the Heat, gloat is selling at an all-time high.
You can't spell "BETRAYED" without "LE BRON and DYWANE T. WADE." Personally, we haven't seen that shirt, although if you do a spelling joke using a name spelled "Dywane" you're already in super-stretch territory.
Since the anti-LeBron T-shirts won't be at the game, because we're sure all Cavalier fans will heed the team's request to stay classy, we'll try to collect them for you here. And if you wish to order some, I bet a few of our responders can tell you where to do so.
I'm also uploading some of the funnier Cavs fans videos.
The Lyin' King: A Beautifully Made Shirt
This shirt has lots of color. It's a parody on some movie...or play...or something and turns on the fact that LeBron was called the "King" which was based on somebody's bible. I tried to explain this to my wife and she thought it was childish.
The Evolution Of a Traitor
This one is called "The Evolution of a Traitor." You may need to blow it up to see it better but it follows the standard "evolution shirt" form.
You see the names in this order: Judas, Brutus, Arnold, Modell, James
You will not be allowed to buy this shirt in Kansas or Kentucky or any other state where they don't allow the teaching of evolution.
It's actually a pretty cool shirt...except I have one problem: Marcus Brutus DIED 42 years BEFORE the birth of Christ.
Brutus needs to be before Judas. "Et tu, Brutus?" came before "Jesus, can I have your leftovers?"
Slamming LeBron For Not Staying and Building
These shirts are gigging LeBron for not being Michael Jordan.
They are especially mean, merely they reflect on all the "next Michael Jordan" hype placed on LeBron since he first stuffed a Nerf basketball on the kids in kindergarten.
Some of those kids felt slighted when LeBron took his talents to Akron Elementary.
The Most Interesting Guy To Clevelanders
This one comes from LeBronShames.com. Check them out.
It's a play on the Dos Equis ads featuring "The Most Interesting Bearded Guy Who Doesn't Always Drink Beer." Actually, he's the actor Jonathan Goldsmith and they've created a fascinating character.
Do you like Dos Equis guy facts? Here are three:
1) It is neither legal nor illegal for him to enter a women's rest room.
2) He once stared at the sun, now the sun is blind.
3) Only he can Triple Stamp a Double Stamp.
If you like those, you can go to the site www.dosequisguy.com and, if you want, you can submit your own.
It's a play on "Witness" and has extremely nice artwork. LeBron looks really buff and as trim as he's ever been in this pic.
LeBron Wrestling Video
Some fans vent their frustration by making a LeBron wrestling video. Not bad work. I think we hear some wrestler's voice, maybe Hulk Hogan's.
In this video you'll see superimposed faces of LeBron, Dywane, Chris Bosh, David Stern, Dan Gilbert and DeLante West.