Dale Earnhardt Jr. Needs to Get a Life Away from the Remote

Andy StottsCorrespondent IAugust 29, 2008

On Claire B. Lang’s “Dialed In" show today on XM Satellite radio, Dale Earnhardt Jr. took the opportunity to rant about his remote for Direct TV. 

Of course with his notoriety and contacts, he was able to take his concerns directly to the President of Direct TV, who seemed to find Dale Jr.’s issues fairly hysterical. 

Apparently, Dale Jr. feels that the numbers on his remote are positioned in the wrong place, making it uncomfortable and awkward to operate with just one hand. 

This is a critical issue since he changes the channels with the number pad instead of the other higher function keys.  

Earnhardt's remote rant seemed to go on for at least five minutes...and possibly longer.   But we could forgive him for that as we realized that Dale Jr. was looking out for all of us, not just himself. 

Fellow fans, this is an issue of international concern, and we must take up the banner and join our fan favorite driver in the relentless pursuit of making Direct TV remotes safe and easy to use.

We must have better remotes for NASCAR drivers and other professional athletes to operate, without fear of dropping the remote and having it break or having the batteries fall out.  

Equally heartbreaking would be anyone having to put down their beer, or Amp and Vodka in Mr. Earnhardt’s case, to adequately operate the remote.

After hearing this tragedy relayed by Dale Jr., I took a look at the Direct TV remote and I have to say that he was right.   

The remote does look like the person that designed it was planning to put it on the coffee table and not hold it in their hands like a normal person.

Using the number pad does require two hands in most cases, or at least in my case.   

The designer is probably not a normal person and I would bet that he or she has never given directions in beer cans (i.e. "It’s not far, it is only about three beers away," or "Make sure you have a case because it is a few hours to get there").

In addition to realizing that Earnhardt is on to a great injustice that we must fight to save all of humanity, as well as the carpel tunnel of every NASCAR driver and fan, I realized something else terribly important.

Dale  Earnhardt, Jr. needs a life. 


It seems that he spends all his time on computer games or watching entirely too much TV. 

He needs to get outside more—go fishing, chase a few women, be chased by some women, drive a few more cars, take a diction lesson, or learn to actually speak English.

Instead he is spending way too much time with electronic equipment. 

I am sure that his re-engineered remote will be very effective and will probably include a skeet gun in some form, but "I don’t like the remote and am buying this universal remote that works better” would have been enough.

Just drive the car Dale Jr...Just drive the car.