Remembering Wade Phillips: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (Satire)
Wade Phillips has been fired, but how will he be remembered?
As a defensive genius? Years ago, yes. But maybe not now after dealing with the porosity of the Blue Crew.
As a good guy who worried about his players? Perhaps.
As someone who was dealt a bad hand, beholden to an unskilled general manager and forced to maneuver with questionable draft picks? We think so.
As someone with more deer-in-the-headlights pictures than any coach imaginable? YES!
Yes, Wade is now synonymous with "bumfuzzled." Sorry about his dad's nickname being mixed in there, but it fits. Flustered. What's going on and WTF expressions grew out of Wade Phillips like the branches on a birch tree.
We'll show a few and create some lyrics where you can sing along:
Bewitched
1 of 7
REMEMBERING WADE PHILLIPS: BEWITCHED, BOTHERED AND BEWILDERED
After a seasonโฆ without reason
And a whirlwind of mishaps
This winterโฆ Iโll be freezinโ
Without a job, perhaps
To be fired by Jerry Jones
Olโ Stiff Face came and told me
Gather up and turn inโฆ all my cell phones
Which had wide area callingโฆ for free!
Bothered
2 of 7
REMEMBERING WADE PHILLIPS: BEWITCHED, BOTHERED AND BEWILDERED
REFRAIN:
Iโm fired again
Retired again
No clipboard, no headphones, un-wired again
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
Iโm losing sleep
Am I a creep?
Did I screw up royally, should I weep?
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
Bewildered
3 of 7
Iโm a football son
My dad is Bum
Discussing defenses โtil morning sun
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
I saw the game
I watched the game
Mistakes we would make would be always the same
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
.jpg?w=256 "Rams Football")
Bumfuzzled
4 of 7
No more Romo
Even on slo-mo
I was stuck with a Kitnaโฆ extremely old
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
My line was bust
They creaked like rust
Colombo and Gurodeโฆ I couldnโt trust
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
Bothered Again
5 of 7
Roy dropped the ball
Throughout the fall
Fumbles and dropsies, we had it all
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
My defense stunk
We played like junk
We couldnโt tackle a dummyโฆ if he were drunk
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
Again?
6 of 7
Looking flustered
Pass the mustard
Iโm a state fair corn dog dipped in custard
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
Bewitched, check my face
Bothered, as in disgrace
Bewildered, like in outer space
Am I!!!!
The Reason For The Whole Refrain
7 of 7
Iโm fired again
Retired again
No clipboard, no headphones, unwired again
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
Iโm losing sleep
Am I a creep?
Did I screw up royally ... should I weep
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
Iโm a football son
My dad is Bum
Discussing defenses โtil morning sun
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
I saw the game
I watched the game
Mistakes we would make were always the same
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
No more Romo
Even on slo-mo
I was stuck with a Kitnaโฆ extremely old
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
My line was bust
They creaked like rust
Colombo and Gurodeโฆ I couldnโt trust
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
Roy dropped the ball
Throughout the fall
Fumbles and dropsies, we had it all
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
My defense stunk
We played like junk
We couldnโt tackle a dummyโฆ if he were drunk
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
Looking flustered
Pass the mustard
Iโm a State Fair corn dog dipped in custard
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
Bewitched, check my face
Bothered, as in disgrace
Bewildered, like in outer space
Am I!!!!
.jpg?w=480 "Rams Football")
.jpg?w=480 "Jets Saints Football")
.png?w=600 "Decade's Best Draft Prospects ๐")