Remembering Wade Phillips: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (Satire)

Wade Phillips has been fired, but how will he be remembered?

As a defensive genius? Years ago, yes. But maybe not now after dealing with the porosity of the Blue Crew.

As a good guy who worried about his players? Perhaps.

As someone who was dealt a bad hand, beholden to an unskilled general manager and forced to maneuver with questionable draft picks? We think so.

As someone with more deer-in-the-headlights pictures than any coach imaginable? YES!

Yes, Wade is now synonymous with "bumfuzzled." Sorry about his dad's nickname being mixed in there, but it fits. Flustered. What's going on and WTF expressions grew out of Wade Phillips like the branches on a birch tree.

We'll show a few and create some lyrics where you can sing along:

Bewitched

Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

ARLINGTON, TX - SEPTEMBER 19: Head coach Wade Phillips of the Dallas Cowboys reacts during a 27-20 loss against the Chicago Bears at Cowboys Stadium on September 19, 2010 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

REMEMBERING WADE PHILLIPS: BEWITCHED, BOTHERED AND BEWILDERED

After a season… without reason

And a whirlwind of mishaps

This winter… I’ll be freezin’

Without a job, perhaps

To be fired by Jerry Jones

Ol’ Stiff Face came and told me

Gather up and turn in… all my cell phones

Which had wide area calling… for free!

Bothered

Lisa Blumenfeld/Getty Images

GLENDALE, AZ - OCTOBER 12: Head coach Wade Phillips of the Dallas Cowboys reacts on the sidleine during the game against the Arizona Cardinals at University of Phoenix Stadium on October 12, 2008 in Glendale, Arizona. The Cardinals defeated the Cowboys

REMEMBERING WADE PHILLIPS: BEWITCHED, BOTHERED AND BEWILDERED

REFRAIN:

I’m fired again

Retired again

No clipboard, no headphones, un-wired again

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

I’m losing sleep

Am I a creep?

Did I screw up royally, should I weep?

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

Bewildered

Scott Boehm/Getty Images

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - SEPTEMBER 4: Head coach Wade Phillips of the Dallas Cowboys talks with referee Don Carey and line judge Carl Johnson #101 during action against the Minnesota Vikings at Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome on September 4, 2009 in Minneapolis,

I’m a football son

My dad is Bum

Discussing defenses ‘til morning sun

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

I saw the game

I watched the game

Mistakes we would make would be always the same

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

Bumfuzzled

Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

GREEN BAY, WI - NOVEMBER 07: Head coach Wade Phillips of the Dallas Cowboys complains to a referee during a game against the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field on November 7, 2010 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

No more Romo

Even on slo-mo

I was stuck with a Kitna… extremely old

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

My line was bust

They creaked like rust

Colombo and Gurode… I couldn’t trust

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

Bothered Again

Jamie Squire/Getty Images

KANSAS CITY, MO - OCTOBER 11: Head Coach Wade Phillips of the Dallas Cowboys looks on during warm-up prior to the NFL game against the Kansas City Chiefs at Arrowhead Stadiumin on October 11, 2009 Kansas City, Missouri. The Cowboys defeated the Chiefs 26

Roy dropped the ball

Throughout the fall

Fumbles and dropsies, we had it all

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

My defense stunk

We played like junk

We couldn’t tackle a dummy… if he were drunk

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

Again?

Scott Boehm/Getty Images

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - SEPTEMBER 4: Head coach Wade Phillips of the Dallas Cowboys argues with line judge Carl Johnson #101 during action against the Minnesota Vikings at Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome on September 4, 2009 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The Cowboys

Looking flustered

Pass the mustard

I’m a state fair corn dog dipped in custard

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

Bewitched, check my face

Bothered, as in disgrace

Bewildered, like in outer space

Am I!!!!

The Reason For The Whole Refrain

Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

SAN DIEGO - AUGUST 21: Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones during preseason game against the San Diego Chargers at Qualcomm Stadium on August 21, 2010 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images)

I’m fired again

Retired again

No clipboard, no headphones, unwired again

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

I’m losing sleep

Am I a creep?

Did I screw up royally ... should I weep

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

I’m a football son

My dad is Bum

Discussing defenses ‘til morning sun

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

I saw the game

I watched the game

Mistakes we would make were always the same

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

No more Romo

Even on slo-mo

I was stuck with a Kitna… extremely old

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

My line was bust

They creaked like rust

Colombo and Gurode… I couldn’t trust

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

Roy dropped the ball

Throughout the fall

Fumbles and dropsies, we had it all

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

My defense stunk

We played like junk

We couldn’t tackle a dummy… if he were drunk

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

Looking flustered

Pass the mustard

I’m a State Fair corn dog dipped in custard

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

Bewitched, check my face

Bothered, as in disgrace

Bewildered, like in outer space

Am I!!!!