Five Ways Reggie Dunlop Would Change the NHL

Puck Daddy is making its way around the world with their list of five things, but somehow they have omitted a very important person's opinion—the former player/coach of the Charlestown Chiefs, Reggie Dunlop.

I looked him up and got his list. Here's what he had to say:

Thanks, kid, for asking me. That Wysh-whatever-the-hell-his-name-is didn't give me a call, but I got good ideas, ya know? Look what I did for the Chiefs! Champions of the Federal League! How about that?

Sure the team went down the tubes, but the mill closed. What can you do? You'd better watch out, 'cause that kind of thing could hit the NHL, what with the economy and stuff.

Now, I never saw myself in one of those nine-to-five jobs, but I can brainstorm with the best of 'em.

The Minnesota Night Hawks are kicking some heads in, and that's 'cause of ole Reg here. So here is how I'd do it:

1. Personal bounties on the heads of opposing players. Fans go f**kin' wild when your boys are out to kill.

2. Let 'em know there's gonna be blood in there, you know, better advertising. That old bastard McGrath never listened, but put some tits in there! Sure, I'm sexually liberated, I don't care who's gay. But tits are good, tits draw!

If people aren't showin' up to Saturday night games, threaten to move and put a "For Sale" sign right on the poster. Let 'em know you mean business!

And those writers who follow the team? The good ones like Dickie Dunn? They can help you out by capturing the spirit of the thing.

3. No fashion shows, no radiothons, no recycled jockstraps. Do it up first class all the way.

4. Get some good guys in stripes out there. They aren't running some goddamn dance floor. They are supposed to be callin' the game!

5. And play old time hockey. Toe Blake, Dit Clapper, Eddie Shore...we aren't clowns, we are hockey players. Sure, folks come out to see freaks in f**kin' sideshows, but it's still hockey. Play like the greats, and they will come.

You stick with Reg. I'm on a roll...