Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
Tennessee @ San Diego (-3.5)
The Chargers still lead the NFL in total offense and total defense, yet the team continues to self-destruct, done in by errors and turnovers that have left San Diego with a 2-5 record.
In last week's 23-20 loss to New England, the Chargers committed four turnovers and missed a game-tying field goal, due in part to a penalty that made Kris Brown's attempt a 50-yarder. They will have to limit mistakes against a Tennessee team that leads the league in turnover differential.
"Football is a game of give and take," Philip Rivers said. "At least for most teams. For us, it's a game of 'give and mistakes.' Turnovers have been killing us. I've kept my interceptions to a minimum, with only six, but fumbles have cost us dearly. We've got too many guys putting the ball on the ground, and if you saw last Sunday's game against New England, you know I mean that literally."
"But don't think for a minute that we're ready to pack it in. You never know what we might have up our sleeves. More than likely, it's a turnover, or Vincent Jackson's contract or A.J. Smith's pride. But we could still surprise some teams."
"I'm sure if we showed up on Sunday dressed as skeletons, the Titans would certainly be surprised, but still able to immediately identify us as 'boneheads.'"
The Titans have won three in a row after claiming a 37-19 win over the Eagles. In that game, wide receiver Kenny Britt caught seven passes for 235 yards and three touchdowns after sitting for the first quarter, disciplined because of his role in a bar fight on October 22nd.
"Britt could face further discipline," Jeff Fisher said. "Unfortunately, I can't address questions concerning that because, as you know, the first rule of Fight Club is 'You don't talk about Fight Club.'"
"I've done some investigating into the incident, and it looks as though Kenny is guilty of a bad decision at the very least. So, he will be punished. Kenny played at Rutgers, so I hereby sentence him to wear a Scarlet letter. The punishment must fit the crime, but more importantly, it must fit my plans to have Kenny in the game."
"But Chris Johnson isn't our only home-run threat. Kenny can go all the way, too. In fact, Chris hasn't had a three-touchdown game this year. So, Kenny one-upped Johnson, just as Kanye West one-upped Johnson with his diamond teeth. I think he calls them 'teef.' Kanye may be a dental giant, but he's a mental midget."
Can the Chargers turn things around? Yes, on themselves. The good thing about playing the Chargers is you don't have to force turnovers. You just have to be there to pick them up. But this time, the Chargers do the taking, forcing three Kerry Collins turnovers.
San Diego wins, 30-27.