You're Not Welcome Here Anymore; Kicking The WWE's Least Valuable To The Curb

Kevin WilliamsCorrespondent IAugust 23, 2008

Throughout the years, we the fans have encountered many WWE fans that have over stayed their welcome, and somehow remain employed by WWE. Who makes my list for the year 2008?


Believe it or not, Funaki is still employed as WWE's number one jobber. When you hear Funaki's music once every six months, you know that he is going to lose, and nothing you say will change that. Funaki's character has gone dry ever since the tag team Kai En Tai disbanded many years ago. Since then, Funaki's claims to fame are former Cruiserweight Champion, Smackdown's "Numba One" announcer, and the biggest jobber in WWE history. I would tell Funaki to expect to be fired soon, but if it hasn't happened up until now, then it surely isn't happening anytime soon.

William Regal

It's one thing to see Cena and Batista week after week, but at least they are top notch stars. Barring the times that Regal has dealt with a Japanese man who spat different colored mist from his mouth (Tajiri), or Eric Bischoff's mentally challenged nephew (Eugene), he's never really gotten much of a crowd reaction. Even when he is a heel, he still can't garner boos from the crowd. To have him win something like the King of the Ring tournament was just a waste of time. That usually foreshadows a major championship run soon to come, but in Regal's case we know that is not going to happen.


The highlight of Snitsky's career came when he inadvertently killed the unborn child of Lita. What has he done since then? Snitsky wins matches against the likes of Funaki. This is all we have seen from him. He never fights the likes of Batista or JBL. Even if he did, the WWE would have him act as a jobber to them in a heartbeat.

Vickie Guerrero

When Vickie was named GM of Smackdown, I thought that it was temporary, and that Theodore Long would return as GM, and not Assistant GM, the position he previously held before moving to ECW. Creative must have been all out of ideas when they were sitting at the roundtable one day and someone randomly blurted out,"Hey, let's make Eddie Guerrero's widow the General Manager of Smackdown. She has no qualifications whatsoever, but it's better than the other idea we had about making Shawn Michaels WWE Champion for a change." The Vickie character is annoying. The fans don't like her character, and never will.

Hardcore Holly

Just whe nyou think he's gone, he comes back to bully some young, up-and-coming talent. Like everything else in the WWE, it gets stale really quick. You would think that Bob Holly should get credit for putting Randy Orton and other stars over. The problem is, he really shouldn't. Randy Orton wasn't over with the fans until he became a member of Evolution with Batista, Triple H, and Ric Flair. Cody Rhodes still isn't really over with the fans. Despite being heel, he comes out to really no crowd reaction. Bob Holly is a former Hardcore Champ and Tag Team Champ. The Hardcore Chamionship has been defunct for six years, and the Tag Team Championship is virtually non-existent. Similar to Hardcore Holly.

Val Venis

Still in the company, and yet you rarely see him. On the rare occasion that he does make an appearance, it is always a special occasion to see an overage "porn star" lose to WWE talent that will be released by the next episode of Raw. Val Venis has over stayed his welcome in WWE, and I don't think he would make it in TNA either.


Like I stated in a previous article, Hornswoggle is not cute nor is he cuddly. Surprisingly, this guy gets pushed in the WWE over the likes of Charlie Haas, who I personally would like to see more of.

Super Crazy

If the Cruiserweight Championship was still in existence, this man would be first on my list to hold the belt. However, the title is gone, and Super Crazy should be too. When the Mexicools were around, I always thought he would be the first one released. I was wrong however, that honor went to Juventud, the star of the group, simply because he used the 450 splash (although it was banned by WWE). One thing about Super Crazy is that he does manage to win from time to time, however, I feel he has no role in WWE.

These WWE "Superstars" leave many fans wondering why they are still employed by WWE. Then again, if they don't lose every match, who will? If it wasn't for these guys, you would have to cancel Sunday Night Heat. I'm Sure the fans would be devastated. To borrow a quote from Borat: NOT!