Alabama Football: Are the Crimson Tide Lucky To Have Nick Saban?

Ardemus MonroeContributor IOctober 28, 2010

KNOXVILLE, TN - OCTOBER 23: Greg McElroy #12 and Nick Saban the Head Coach of the Alabama Crimson Tide are pictured during a timeout in the SEC game against the Tennessee Volunteers at Neyland Stadium on October 23, 2010 in Knoxville, Tennessee.  (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
Andy Lyons/Getty Images

Alabama is lucky to have Nick Saban as their coach.

At least, I’ve heard some folks say as much, most especially those from schools that the Crimson Tide face on a regular basis.

To that, I say hogwash.

I was born and raised in the Southland, and down here in God’s Country, most folks do not believe in luck or circumstance.  We believe everything that happens is preordained by He that authors The Golden Book of What’s Going to Happen Next.  And it’s as plain as the nose on a skinned gator’s face that He is an avid fan of the Crimson Tide.

How else would you explain the miraculous success of Alabama Football? (Terrance Cody blocked two field goal attempts?  Really?)   The 50,000,000 (+/-) citizens of the Crimson Nation just had their prayers answered, that’s all.

But, doesn’t The Keeper of the Golden Book have better things to do than answer the prayers of a bunch of crazed Bama fans you ask?  Doesn’t He?

Well, I have your answer:  He is well known for His supreme multi-tasking abilities, and He obviously drinks Crimson Kool-Aid on a regular basis.  You read it here first.  Non-believers might try to come up with other answers but, like the synapses inside of Les Miles’ head, they’d likely be frayed around the edges and sorely lacking in any real substance.

We believers know that He did indeed put The Tide though a few years of Hell on Earth and a month or two of Mike Price, but we also know that He does those things from time to time so that we will better appreciate His blessings. 

We believe, on that fateful day He sent us Saint Nick, He arose from His Crimson-clad throne, picked up His Golden Book of What’s Going to Happen Next, and penned the words that set the world of college football back onto the Path of Redemption: “On this day I will send the Crimson Nation the best college football coach since my friend, The Bear, came back home to Momma.” (Paraphrased of course).

I also believe He likely asked The Bear for his opinion and that He and Bear watch The Tide together on a plasma TV bigger than all of creation and Bobby Petrino’s ego, all the while drinking ice-cold Coca-Cola and snacking on Golden Flake Potato Chips.

Whatever others may tend to believe or disbelieve, Saint Nick is now home forever in Sweet Home Alabama, and the Crimson Nations thanks the Author of the Golden Book for blessing us with Him, I mean him.

To Coach Saban:  Thank you for being here coach and for doing such an incredible job. We are indeed blessed to have you as our coach.

But, it’s not like you really had a choice.