War on Stupidity! 10 People Edge Needs To Spear To Continue The War
The Rated R Superstar stood triumphant and lead the Smackdown team to victory at Bragging Rights. Standing there with Rey Mysterio hoisting the cup over head and giving it a kiss (as all Canadians dream of doing) he was victorious and was bringing it home to Smackdown two years in a row.
He has declared a war on stupidity and I have decided to help point him in the right direction, so here are ten people who deserve a spear and should be taken out by the Ultimate Opportunist!
1. Matt Hardy!
Yes long time enemy and guy who's hot girl friend he stole Matt Hardy.
Will he maybe now will be known as V2?
Surely Edge has already given him several great beatings in his career but it appears one more shot is exactly what Matt needs.
Between his ridiculous tweets
His insane, literally insane, You Tube videos
His quest to get fired to go over and 'be who he wants to be' over in TNA
And join up with equally crazy brother and apparently the 'wrestling anti-christ' Jeff Hardy
Matt has gone off the deep end, and I think he fell on top of Jeff at the bottom.
What the heck happened to the Hardys?!
Whatever it is, one more good spear out of his shoes and maybe another stomp on the stairs wouldn't hurt.
2. Jeff Jarret
I can't stand Jeff Jarret!
Constantly putting himself in the spotlight
Sub par wrestler
Scumbag for going after Kurt's wife (yeah, I'm still thinking he's an assclown for that)
And now throwing himself in a class known as Immortals with Hulk Hogan?!
Jeff Jarret Immortal? Man I hope not.
I would love an invasion, just to have Edge run out of that dumb tunnel and spear that goof into next week.
Prime candidate for being the next victim in the War on Stupid.
3. Kanye West
For your over the top comments
The Taylor Swift incident
Those stupid sunglasses you made popular and put on every dumb tween in the US, seriously what purpose do shutter shades serve.
Not since Kanye's Workout Plan have you put out anything worth listening too
Your dumb robot voice and a song about Robocop sung by a bunch of kids listening to Pop Music who don't even know who Robo Cop is!
4. That Guy in The Bank Drive Thru
What are you doing up there?!
Are You banking for the month?
How does it take me 15 seconds but the guy in front of me takes 20 minutes?
Did I do something wrong,forget a step, or was I just prepared and know how to work an ATM!
I just want to have that guy pull up past the bank wall and then bam!!
SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR!
That I wouldn't mind waiting in line behind him for.
5. The Woman Who Doesn't Know How To Use Self Checkout
Okay, so clearly you were never cut out to be a cashier but really how hard is it to swipe your Slim Jims over the scanner!
You all know exactly what I'm talking about! You're standing there with your three things that you needed to pick up and here's this woman who keeps swiping something while the robot yells at her and asks her to put her item in the bag.
I'm a patient man, but if you have an option of someone doing it for you, and its something you CAN'T do, then let the nice cashier people help you, thats what they're there for.
Tell me you don't look at this slide and want him to come diving out and spear her.
6. Paul Walker
You're just a jerk in every movie your in
You're like the Chad Michael Murray of action movies
There's just something about you that deserves a spear
I'm not saying you're stupid, but ugh, your films....
Takers, if that wasn't the larges cast of d-bags ever assembled I don't want to see what comes out next.
It was like the Expendables but starring every guy who's ever played a jerk in real life or in film.
Sorry Paul, you deserve a spear, guest host Smackdown and let the Rated R Superstar give you what you comeuppance.
I would also like to thank Kortney for nominating Paul Walker, I'm not alone in thinking you deserve a spear Paul, not my fault.
7. The Raw GM
Whomever you are you know your due for one.
Here's how it should play out.
The big reveal
Subsequent crowd reaction and most likely reaction from John Cena, as he's plagued him as well.
The email sound goes off
Everyone is confused
Michael Cole reads the email "and I quote 'turn off the lights'.."
Everyone is confused again, lights go off
GM screams turn the lights back on
Edge is in the ring
Edge gives Cena the nod, Cena laughs, Edge just leaves.
8. Michael Cole
Same episode of Raw
Cole is backstage or complaining about how a Smackdown superstar interfered on the "A-Show"
His antics, his mouth, everything is leading up to it.
Come on now JR had his arm broke by Taker and was set on fire by Kane, what has Cole been through....
oh yeah I forgot..Heidenreich, but we don't like to talk about that.
9. The Cast Of Glee
Now I know its a popular show
And its a favorite in my household and my 14yr old is probably going to kill me for writing this,but enough already
You're getting a little to big for your britches and you need a good Spear to keep you in check.
You're like EVERYWHERE
Constantly on TV
Its too much, no slurpee splash, you're getting a spear.
Except for Lea Michelle, she gets a pass.
10. Bill Goldberg
You want one more run?
You have to loose a couple here and there.
First to Edge - Spear vs. Spear match and The Rated R Superstar nails you with it first and you take a loss.
Two - to Chris Jericho, he returns to shut you up about your streak and wanting a shot at Undertaker
You loose to him (as you would, he's much higher skilled) and the feud carries over to Wrestlemania where Taker finds himself in a fatal four way.
Taker vs. Goldberg vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho
I wouldn't even care who wins, this would just be Epic to see.
To clarify the picture lets not forget he gave us Santa's Slay where he portrayed Kris Kringle as a demon.
Good job Bill!
The War on Stupidity Continues
Edge is clearly being pushed to great things after the amazing match we saw at Bragging Rights it would appear he's being guided to be back in the hunt for some gold and the main event spot light.
Who will he face at Survivor Series?
Will he be next in line for the World Heavy Weight Title?!
Who will be the next person to face the spear and loose the next battle in the war on stupidity!
Hope you enjoyed.
For more dumb crazy writing on wrestling, comic books or anything else I find obscure check out my site
stay tuned true believers!