The 20 Lamest Jerseys Anyone Can Own

Todd Boldizsar@@toddboldizsarAnalyst IOctober 15, 2010

The 20 Lamest Jerseys Anyone Can Own

0 of 21

    For some poor fans, their only choice when it comes to jerseys are crazy color schemes and ugly logos. Other fans have to endure the punishment of wasting a hanger on a player with a career that just didn't pan out.

    Either way, there are those unfortunate circumstances where a burlap sack would look better than your team's uniform.

    Here are 20 of the lamest jerseys ever made!

     

    Over 24,400 people have already seen this, why haven't you?

    The 50 Greatest Football Catches of All Time

Honorable Mention: John Daly on Any Given Day

1 of 21

    This get-up would likely hit high on the countdown if it were an actual jersey of uniform. Nonetheless, Daly show off his crazy side (Which is also his only side) with this orange creme nightmare. John Daly doesn't own a GPS system, satellites can navigate him with coordinates. 

20. Newcastle United FC Current Home Jersey

2 of 21

    Adidas really hit a "home run" with this original idea. If you can't catch my drift here, look up the word sardonicism or sardonic in the dictionary (Fine, I did it for you, click here: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sardonic).

    What was the motivation for these uniforms? When the team is done with their game they go supervise Parks and Rec games? WTF Adidas? WTF Newcastle United? Ridiculous...

19. Tampa Bay Lightning 1997-98

3 of 21

    I bet back in the day these uniforms were the talk of the league. However, it's like finding photos of yourself in high school in those brown bell-bottoms and thick mustache.

    These jerseys are a visual train wreck. Don't stare at it too long, it won't reveal a hidden image like you think it will.

18. Golden State Warriors 2010-11

4 of 21

    Tip of the cap to the Warriors for attempting to get rid of that ridiculous Blue Man Warrior holding a lightning bolt they had, but I'm not sure this one is much of an improvement. Most throwbacks are instant best-sellers, but sometimes you just gotta let sleeping dogs lie. 

    From tangerine to mustard yellow, and from blue warrior to cheap sketch, Golden State just can't win, in more ways than one.

17. Minnesota Golden Gophers Hockey Alternate, 1997-98

5 of 21

    With a name like Golden Gophers, you can't get much worse. Might as well throw a bunch of colors together that don't match and see if you can distract the attention from your horrible mascot to your lame jerseys.

16. Portland Trail Blazers Sam Bowie 1984

6 of 21

    It was impossible to find a Portland Trail Blazers Sam Bowie jersey, likely because they've all been burned to nothingness. The famous second overall pick of the 1984 NBA Draft came just before Michael Jordan was selected by the Chicago Bulls. 

    Despite ten seasons in the NBA, Bowie near amounted to Jordan's legacy, and the mere sight of his uniform reminds Blazers fans of what could have been...

15. Mount Union and Just Too Much Damn Purple

7 of 21

    In the time it takes to microwave a pop tart, these uniforms were thought up into existence. As NBC Sports points out, if the team wasn't one of the most prolific Division III Champions ever, they may get less respect than Rodney Dangerfield (RIP).

14. Ryan Leaf, San Diego Chargers

8 of 21

    These jerseys are sure to fill thrift stores everywhere, and the price of a Big Mac must be higher than the cost of this one.

    Ryan Leaf was another high draft pick bust in the NFL, and the only way this "gem" will be worn will likely be during this time of year, as it is one of the scariest costumes you can dream of dawning while Trick-or-Treating. 

13. San Francisco Giants Current Orange Alternate

9 of 21

    No offense to the great Juan Marichal, but this one is just wrong from any angle. I personally love most of the new alternate jerseys in Major League baseball, it's nice to see something different than white, gray or pinstripes.

    But these things make you squint just to see less of them. They belong in the 60's with the rest of sports history we'd like to forget. 

    Now Dodgers fans have another reason to hate the Giants when playing head-to-head. It won't be long until you see pinatas adorned with this orange toilet paper.

12. Tampa Bay Buccaneers Current Throwback Alternate

10 of 21

    It's no surprise these re-makes are uglier than the originals. The Bucs actually had some cool red jerseys with those silver helmets, but they had to go orange.

    I saw a guy walking around wearing one of these once. He had the orange Bucs jersey, red shorts and a blue hat. What else would he wear with orange?

11. Denver Nuggets, 1976-98

11 of 21

    I personally love these jerseys, but I love them because of how unbelievably lame they are. The concept behind these was the Rocky Mountains providing a majestic backdrop for the city of Denver's skyscrapers.

    Somehow it seems they missed the mark with this one. Maybe it is because there's no red, pink, yellow or blue involved with snow, trees, dirt and modern architecture.

10. Toronto Raptors, 1995-96

12 of 21

    I'm not sure but I think I hate Jurassic Park jammies from the 90's that are less lame than the Toronto Raptors first attempt at a uniform. The 1995-96 expansion franchise began with purple uniforms and lightning bolt pin stripes. Not to mention the Raptor, one of the most scary dinosaurs from the Jurassic Park series, was probably the tamest logo in the league at the time. 

    I would have liked to take some Washington Bullets to those uniforms, but I guess a little Wizardry and spells will have to do.

9. Seattle Seahawks Current Lime Green Alternates

13 of 21

    "What happened?" "Power-outage" "Ok everyone. Please calmly make your way to all available exits. The players will walk in front of you to provide light. Any available light is bound to be attracted to those slime green uniforms. Thank you."

    Where did they come up with the idea to make slime green alternates? Are things really that bad in Seattle that we need something more horrible to look at than the Seahawks record over the last few seasons.

8. Houston Astros, 1970's

14 of 21

    This one is hard to understand. The Astros wore these jerseys during the Nolan Ryan era, so there was no need for any extra attention. 

    The most difficult part to understand is how they thought these were amazing in the 1970's. I wasn't there, so many I'm missing something here...

7. Vancouver Canucks 1983

15 of 21

    If anyone remembers these jerseys, they accompanied very similar pants. The 80's were full of crazy colors and strange combinations. Don't bother Googling these uniforms, they will either make you cry or scream with rage. ABOMINATION!

6. Denver Broncos AFL 50th Anniversary Tribute Uniforms

16 of 21

    If the Harlem Globetrotters decided to play football, and accidentally put their uniforms in the washing machine with the Cleveland Browns, the hot water would create what you see above.

    These uniforms should remind you of what Rosie O'Donnell's hot dog looks like at Red Sox games. They should have worn their pads on the outside and painted them brown, that dog needs a bun!

     

    In all fairness to Rosie though, she is working hard at losing weight and is starting to look slim and trim! Don't sue me Rosie!

5. Oregon Ducks, Take Your Pick

17 of 21

    The University of Oregon holds the prestigious distinction of having the most uniform combinations of any team in any sport. Naturally, ugly and lame combinations were bound to come through, and the all yellow ranks pretty high up there.

    Say what you want, but those lame jerseys got the program plenty of attention and blue chip recruits. No matter how high their ranking, they are still ridiculous. 

4. Stade Francais, a French Rugby Team

18 of 21

    Red socks with white shirts don't mix well in hot water. The French rugby team is laid-back though, and when they saw what had happened, they united together, but the embarrassment doesn't go away just because they are all wearing the same thing.

    Umm...what?

     

    Bonus: This team must be colorblind

    1418.jpg

3. Montreal Canadians Current Retro Alternate

19 of 21

    This jersey is the headliner for most "ugly sports uniform" or "lamest jersey ever" searches on Google and Yahoo!. It has no sophistication or subtlety to it whatsoever. 

    The NHL has certainly had its share of ugly jerseys, and the search results are endless. However, this one is especially lame AND ugly. It must be difficult for die hard fans like the Habs have to support their team in this visual monstrosity. 

2. JaMarcus Russell, Oakland Raiders

20 of 21

    I bought one of these as part of a Halloween costume a few years ago, and it still hangs in my closet with the original tags. The store wouldn't take it back, and it won't sell on eBay with an opening listing price of 50 cents.

    Russell is another prime example of a sound draft decision gone bad. The hefty QB never fit into the Raiders' offensive scheme, and apparently doesn't have the sharpest publicist in the group. No one should be caught dead wearing this lame jersey!

1. Mexican Goalkeeper Jorge Campos

21 of 21

    So Jorge Campos shows us what it would look like if the 80's threw up on someone. He must have some kind of distraction strategy going on here with this one, and it looks like it would have worked. The many colors on this uniform make it seem like there's five of him, but hopefully this mess is one-of-a-kind.