'Roid Rage Reality: The Mitchell Report

From San Francisco to San Juan, from St. Louis to Sapporo, keyboards, classrooms, barrooms, and water coolers are abuzz with the news that the names of 80-odd major league players—among them Eric Gagne, Andy Pettitte, Roger Clemens, and Kevin Brown—were mentioned in the report on performance-enhancing drug usage filed by former Senator George Mitchell.

Some have noted that players such as Gagne, Jose Guillen, and Miguel Tejada found new teams right before the report was released. A few columnists asked why the media had not scrutinized Clemens with the same suspicion of his 40-something feats as Bonds—to which some message board commenters replied: Bonds perjured himself before a grand jury, Clemens was not subpoenaed.

After all the sturm und drang, several realties will emerge. There will be no drop in attendance due to the cloud of suspicion, or bitterness toward past cheaters.

Washington, which just signed Mitchell-mentioned catcher Paul LoDuca, moves into a new ballpark in April. Boston, where Brendan Donnelly and Mo Vaughn used to play, is defending a world championship. All those former Yankees and Mets named? Tickets will still be tough to acquire in New York when the better teams visit.

In the long haul, Americans demand no more integrity from the national pastime than they do from their political leadership.

Commissioner Bud Selig—who brushed off a reporter's question yesterday about Mitchell's statement that there was enough blame to spread equally amongst owners, GMs, players, and the commissioner's offic—is not claiming accountability. The Mark McGwire/Sammy Sosa chase of Roger Maris' single-season home run mark filled seats. So did Barry Bonds' assault on McGwire's new standard.

But the owners will not punish their non-commissioner, the former Brewers proprietor, for enabling the runaway statistics and health risks that resulted from the use of anabolic steroids and HGH. "The Rocket" may have lost some of his red glare in the public eye, but there will be no asterisks placed next to his last three Cy Young awards, or his strikeouts since 1998.

Who would have ever thought a document heavy enough to be used as a doorstop would make Barry Bonds, Jose Canseco, Dan Duquette, and the late Ken Caminiti look better? Duquettte, the former Red Sox GM, was right—Clemens was finished when the Sox gave up in him. He was revived by the wonders of science. The Mitchell Report isn't going to reinstate Hank Aaron as the all-time home run king, however.

Northern fans will flock to spring training in two months, weary of the cold and full of new hope. Tigers fans will buy tickets to see whether Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera can bring them a pennant. Dodger faithful will welcome center fielder Andruw Jones. L.A.'s Angels are not pumped by steroids, but by the acquisitions of CF Torii Hunter and P Jon Garland.

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