Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
Arizona @ San Diego (-9)
Despite racking up 518 yards of total offense, the Chargers fell in Seattle 27-20, a result of two catastrophic special teams failures and five turnovers. San Diego gave up two Leon Washington kickoff return touchdowns and fell to 1-2, two games behind the Chiefs in the AFC West.
"There were obviously breakdowns in our kickoff coverage," Norv Turner said. "That's three touchdowns on kickoffs we've given up this year. And speaking of 'too much in return,' we were unable to broker a deal to trade Vincent Jackson, mainly because A.J. Smith refused to budge from his asking price of a second and third round pick.
Frankly, I'm surprised we were unable to broker a deal for Vincent Jackson, particularly since we don't need him. If Philip Rivers can throw for 455 yards without him, then I think we can do without him. Apparently, general manager A.J. Smith was asking too much. Ironically, so is Vincent."
Despite their 2-1 record, the Cardinals are not the Cardinals of years past, which featured a high-powered passing attack led by Kurt Warner.
"With Derek Anderson at quarterback," said Ken Whisenhunt, "our passing game lacks the downfield threat. You could say we 'long' for our quarterback of old. I think we all, our receiving corps included, are growing a little impatient with him. I hate to be 'Kurt,' but we'd be much better off with Warner."
In two tries so far this year, the Chargers have yet to beat a team from the West, AFC or NFC. As they say, the third time's the charm, unless you're the Buffalo Bills or Minnesota Vikings.
The Chargers win the coin toss, and wisely elect to receive. Then, to start the second half, Nate Kaeding kicks off sideways, directly out of bounds.
San Diego gives up no kickoff return touchdowns, and wins, 33-17