20 Cliches We Never Want To Hear a Sportscaster Say Again
With ESPN, the NFL Network, Versus, the Golf Channel and all the major networks spewing out tons of sports television each day literally millions of words are used each year for sports play-by-play and opinion.
For the most part, it's pretty good. We're all either entertained or informed. But sometimes, those whom we entrust to narrate the events "drop the ball." (See that's just one of many terrible sports cliches)
Here is a list of sports terms and cliches we hope that someone will "put a nail in the coffin" of. (See that's another one)
No. 20: āJust Having Funā
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Often applied to Brett Favre, sports casters are apt to pull this one out when they see a player smiling a lot out on the field. Naturally, John Madden used it often.
Hines Ward is another frequent āguy just having fun out there.ā
As is often a theme with grossly overused sports clichĆ©s, the guy is āonly having funā when his team is winning and he is playing well. If the Vikings are down 49-0 in the fourth quarter and the camera pans over to Favre and heās laughing it up with Jared Allen, the media will blast him for not taking the loss seriously.
Of course winning is fun. Who gets angry when they hit a home run or drain a three-pointer?
No. 19: āAnd Boom Goes the Dynamiteā
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That poor college reporter, Brian Collins, is still routinely mocked for his awful telecast where he couldnāt keep up when the teleprompter broke down.
Yes, āboom goes the dynamiteā was hilariousā¦..until SportsCenter anchors used it 1,500 times per episode.
No. 18: āThe Look of a Championā And/or āyou Can See It in His Eyesā
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So, now sportscasters are experts in body language?
Ok, if a player is slouched over, bawling uncontrollably, or curled up in the fetal position before the last play, then, maybe he doesnāt have the look of a champion.
But itās a bit much to show a glimpse of a player and declare he is destined to win the game or tournament just by his stare.
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No. 17: āWalk-Offā Home Run
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Whenever this became big, probably during the 1990s, it exploded like the plague. Now itās an official term. Remember when it was āgame winningā hit or RBI or home run? Topps actually had that stat on their baseball cards in the 1980s.
Why did they change it to the more ambiguous āwalk off?ā Another failure Major League Baseball travesty that occurred on Bud Seligās watch.
No. 16: āNot So Fast My Friendā
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Although Lee Corso on ESPNās College Gameday is the worst offender of this one, Kirk Herbstreit and Chris Fowler chime in with it every now and then.
Corso was smart to corner the market on a college football catch phrase but itās so cheesy now.
No. 15: "Go To Guy"
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Can't we say it any better than this? As over-played as "he's our bread and butter"--which makes little sense either--at least it's somewhat nuanced.
But instead, sportscasters usually settle for this bad cliche. It sounds like it was something grunted by a cave man: "Go to guy over there. He our go to guy."
No. 14: āXs and Osā
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This one comes courtesy the great former player and later Georgia Tech and Alabama Head Football Coach, Bill Curry.
When sportscasters refer to schemes and the actual visual details of a play, they are always dubbed āXs and Os.ā As in each offensive player (basketball or football) is an āOā and the defenders are āXā when drawn up on a chalk board or dry-erase board.
But in truth, thatās a gross oversimplification of the diagramming of plays. Still, it probably wouldnāt be so unsettling if it wasnāt used every other minute of a broadcast.
No. 13: āFairway-Metalā
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Like the previous entry, this one makes perfect sense, especially in the modern era. But it still feels awkward to hear Johnny Miller call a ā4-woodā a ā4-metal.ā
Persimmons woods went out alongside break dancing in the 1980s but that vestigial term should remain. If you say āgrab me a 3-woodā to your caddy, thatās pretty clear.
The worst part is that Miller has all of his NBC colleagues on the bandwagon. Perhaps, if a guy shoots a 63 to win the US Open at Oakmont he can call a fairway wood whatever he wants.
No. 12: A Quarterback or Pitchers or Goalies āBest Friendā
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In team sports itās a little strange to single out one player as another playerās ābest friend.ā
For one, itās weird to think of Tom Brady and Wes Welker hanging out in the sandbox together like their on the playground in 3rd grade. But when Brady connects with Walker on a few passes in a row, someone will say that āWalker is Bradyās best friend.ā
Thatās not so bad when referring to two players, although itās still weird. But, in baseball, the old clichĆ© is that āa double play is a pitcherās best friend.ā How can you be friends with a putout?
No. 11: āTaste of Their Own Medicineā
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This one is just bad because itās used to death.
No one would say much if Peyton Manning were to scramble for a 5 yard gain and pick up the first down. But if the run happens to come while the Colts are playing the Philadelphia Eagles and quarterback Michael Vick, somewhere, some announcer will find that wonderfully ironic.
āThey gave the Eagles a taste of their own medicine!ā
No. 10: āPhysical, Smash Mouth Footballā
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Teams like the Pittsburgh Steelers and Tennessee Titans are guilty-by-proxy here. In short, when a team runs the ball effectively, itās āphysical smash mouth footballā
Yes, the running game probably features more hard hits than the passing game, but on what play in football, at any level, isnāt there hard hitting? Field goals, punts, kickoffs, hail Marys, etc: on every one of those plays there are a handful of big dudes clobbering each other.
No. 9: āHe just wanted it moreā
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Tiger Woods is regarded as one of the greatest competitors of all time. His desire is unquestioned and, according to many sportscasters, unmatched.
Letās say that next yearās Masters were to come down to one hole, between Tiger Woods and some Tour no-name. If Tiger edges out Player X by sinking a birdie putt, thereās a pretty good chance someone is going to inform us that āTiger just wanted it more.ā
How exactly do you measure that? Itās a safe bet that the guy who lost wants it pretty badly.
No. 8: Everything Brent Musberger Says
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Isnāt it sad that his most likable sports broadcasting moments came in Rocky II and The Waterboy? Maybe thatās because he had a script to read from.
When he does the play-by-play for a college game today, itās pretty hard to listen to. He either piggybacks too much off of what his partner says or tosses out lame jokes and seemingly fake enthusiasm. Sorry Brent!
No. 7: āItās Midnight for Cinderellaā
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March Madness usually brings this one out of the sportscastersā salvo each spring.
Aside from it not exactly fitting the mouldādoesnāt Cinderella ultimately āwinā at the end of the fairy tale?āitās probably pretty annoying to the team or player the announcer is referring to. Would YOU want to refer to Dwight Howard or Adrian Peterson as Cinderella, a cartoon woman?
Bill Murray is partly to blame for this. When Carl Spackler narrated his tulip-hacking round in the middle of Caddyshack he repeatedly referred to himself as āa Cinderella story.ā A whole generation of young,
No. 6: āYou donāt thinkā John Elway wants to win this game!?
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This is just mangled, non-sensical blather. Occasionally, and especially in football, a player will make a great play that epitomizes perseverance and toughness.
A few broken tackles will usually lead an announcer to spew out āyou donāt think he wants to get that first down? Look at this run!ā
Who could possibly think the player did not want to make the first down. Dan Dierdorf and formerly John Madden go this card quite often.
No. 5: āItās a chip shot field goalā
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A chip shot in golf isnāt necessarily easy. (Then again neither is a 25-yard field goal). Try chipping over a bunker and onto a fast, downward slopping green. Ā
The announcer is trying to say that it is from a short distance so it is simpler. They could avoid all the confusion if they apply another golf term: in match play, a short putt is a āgimmeā and is essentially a formality.
That is what announcers are trying to say when they call a short field goal a āchip shot.ā
No. 4: āRBIā (plural)
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Yes, if you want to follow standard English, āRuns Batted Inā is already in the plural form, thus saying a āPujols had 5 RBIā is technically correct, instead of āPujols had 5 RBIs.ā
But that sounds so weird! Didnāt we all grow up saying RBIs? Thanks a lot grammar police for making that stat sound awkward.
No. 3: ā[Insert Sport] I.Q.ā
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Any player who makes a smart play or is renowned for knowing the intricacies of the game better than his peers is said to have a great ā[insert their sport] I.Q.ā Peyton Manning has a great āfootball I.Q.ā, Derek Fisher a āgreat basketball I.Q.ā, Derek Jeter a great ābaseball I.Q.ā.
We get it, announcers, the player isnāt an idiot. We have a good āsports fan I.Q.ā
No. 2: Heās a āhard workerā
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This term is comically at both the college and pro level.
In the NFL or NBA, calling a player āhard workerā should be offensive to the audience. In todayās era, when virtually all pro athletes are millionaires, donāt we expect them to be āhard workers?ā
Itās not like they are squeezing in batting practice in between their 8-5 shift at the insurance office. They get paidāand handsomelyāto āwork hard.ā
Now in college, the term takes on a different meaning. Sportscasters say a player is āa hard workerā when they donāt have something nice to say about their talent.
When the camera scrolls to the bench at a Duke game, the player wearing his sweats without a bead of sweat on his face and sitting next to Coach K is probably a great worker. Just not good enough to crack the lineup. Ā Kind of an insult when you think about it.
No. 1: āThrew Him Under the Busā
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Taking the metaphor a bit too far. When a player or coach calls out another player or coach through the media, he or she certainly didnāt do them any favors.
It was probably a rude or stupid or divisive thing to say. But he wasnāt exactly murdering them, the way you would if you āthrew them under a bus.ā
Still, it is a metaphor, so the intention is not lost. But like all terrible clichĆ©s, this one is awful because it is used all the time. Anytime even a minor conflict arrives in sports today, one player was āthrown under the busā by another player.
Mike Golic and Mike Greenburg (aka Mike & Mike) deserve a lot of the blame on this one.
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