WWE Hell in A Cell Primer: "...And on The 7th Day, WWE Created The Cenexus"
The WWE Universe will be ambushed with its second pay-per-view in less than a month with WWE Hell in the Cell.
The quick pay-per-view turnaround for the WWE is obvious with only four matches announced, coupled with an underwhelming build.
However despite the possibly damning numbers in which this pay-per-view faces, WWE Hell in a Cell will serve as a critical pay-per-view that may shake things up with the WWE's TV ratings quickly approaching Chevy Chase numbers.
To the themes we go...
Filler. With only four matches announced for this pay-per-view, expect this show to progress like an episode of RAW or Smackdown! where matches are announced on the show itself or conducted on an impromptu basis.
With the big live Smackdown! premiere on Syfy, that will figure to have all hands on deck, it is very possible that more matches will be announced for the show. However expect a lot of time to be taken up by unadvertised matches as well as filler in the form of promos, skits, and more WWE tomfoolery.
In fact, this primer will need filler in order to be passable as an article because there are only four matches to discuss.
Which reminds me about a time in Detroit...
Title Changes. With three titles on the line at a WWE pay-per-view, expect the WWE stay true to form by having at least one title change hands in order to justify making its customers spend money on another pay-per-view so soon (I don't agree with this logic but the WWE just loves switching belts on their pay-per-views).
The odds on favorite for a WWE title change would be the Undertaker going over Kane, as this feud has been built to a crescendo with Paul Bearer making is return after being drowned in cement years ago.
Lack of Blood. One of the unintentionally comedic aspects of this pay-per-view will be the lack of blood despite the WWE's best laid plans to build up the Hell in the Cell as such a satanic structure.
Like it or not, we are in the PG era. You remember that movie from 2007, There Will be Blood, that got an Oscar push? Well there won't be blood. Such an obvious void in violence definitely takes away from the drama of any cage match, but the WWE's current dry spell will be upheld in a match concept that, once upon a time, was ground zero for a blood bath.
WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) over Sheamus
There have been loud whispers of disappointment in Randy Orton recently being crowned the WWE champion. Such whispers have only grown louder with the low ratings for RAW recently. It is possible that the WWE could take the belt off of Orton at this pay-per-view in favor of eventually putting it back on John Cena, who by then would have disbanded the Nexus.
But that's too safe.
The real ratings draw would be the night-after curiosity created when WWE fan reads that Cena has to be a part of the Nexus.
It may be a hoop dream, but I see Wade Barrett going over John Cena, thus forcing Cena to be a member of the Nexus. Should this happen, there really would be no need to put the belt on Sheamus as things would already have been shaken up enough.
While there is the possibility that the revamped Nexus could make an appearance during this match and cost Orton the belt, let's just be conservative here and stick with Orton for the win.
World Championship: The Undertaker over Kane (c)
With Paul Bearer back in the thick of things (no pun intended), and rumored to make an appearance at Hell in the Cell, expect the Undertaker to finally get his revenge now that he has his powers back by virtue of that mysterious urn.
Boy I'd be disappointed if a federal investigation revealed that urn to be filled with PED's.
Triple Threat, Submissions Count Anywhere Match for the U.S. Title: Daniel Bryan over the Miz and John Morrison
This match could either steal the show or be really bad. Unfortunately, I think it figures to be somewhat of a mess that I don't even think Daniel Bryan can hold together. Expect a lot of cool spots from Morrison, and innovative submissions from Bryan, while Miz receives help from Alex Riley who will once again become the beneficiary of the easiest PPV paycheck bonus in sports and entertainment.
I'm almost finished with this primer, and it's only been, like, ten minutes. I feel like I'm cheating my readers. Time for some filler in the form of a funny story about a time when I went to Branson, Missouri...
If Cena Wins
We Riot Nexus Disbands, if Barrett Wins Cena Joins Nexus:
Wade Barrett over John Cena
I teased it earlier, and now it's in your lap.
Let's face it, the WWE ratings have been abysmal thus far. Ratings for RAW are at apocalyptic 'WCW is kicking our tail' numbers, and it's time for things to be shaken up a bit.
This wouldn't necessarily be turning John Cena heel (as many have hoped), but it would certainly be taking a teasing step in the right direction. With Cena as a forced Nexus member, the WWE will be able to shrewdly dabble in the heel John Cena waters while seeing how fans would potentially take to a heel John Cena.
They created a similar situation with Shawn Michaels a few years back when he was forced to be JBL's servant, and such a scenario sparked interest and intrigue from the viewing public just as I feel that John Cena as a Nexus member would.
John Cena as a member of the Nexus for the time being would be as close to must watch TV as the WWE can get without fully turning Cena heel at this point, and it would give Cena something to do until his inevitable showdown with Randy Orton at Wrestlemania XXVII.
However, by the same token, and with no strong babyface presence on RAW, it will be interesting to see how the WWE navigates around having Cena and Orton cross paths or if they're even able to hold their horses in that department.
Many cynics feel that Cena v. Barrett is simply another platform to showcase John Cena's Superman skills while burying up and comping talent in the process. However, it's worth noting that the recently leaked promotional poster for bragging rights implicate a Nexus involvement. And how much life would be breathed into that pay-per-view should a John Cenexus be advertised to compete in a Bragging Rights match?
I'll leave you with a story from my travels of the Serengeti...
Big Nasty is the editor of The Big Nasty Athletic Dept. Log on to twitter at twitter.com/ThisIsNasty and follow him until he presses charges! Friends of Big Nasty hang out at facebook.com/bignasty247.
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