College Football’s Top Ten All Time Winning Programs

I’m not embarrassed to say this; I enjoy watching daytime weekday baseball. I say this not because you’ll see me singing the “stretch” over at Wrigley anytime soon but because I usually work out in the afternoon and when the game is on the workout is usually just a little less painful because at least my attention is somewhat diverted. And while some people enjoy working out or “feel good” afterward I don’t share the same joy about it they do. I work out for these reasons only: so I can eat pizza whenever I want, eat ice cream every single day and never have to worry about my pants fitting. As we all know there just isn’t a lot you can do about a tight pair of pants. So in any event yesterday the White Sox were on and I’m watching the game talking to my friend David whose on that elliptical thingand we’re just talking about normal stuff like “how do you think Vegas comes up with a line for a game Lance Broadway starts?”, “when is the last time the Cubs and Sox were a combined 50 games over .500?” and “why would you bring Horacio Ramirez into a 3-2 ballgame?” and then it happens: those back to back to back to back homers you may have heard about by now. So while the rest of the world is wondering how rare of an occurrence that might be or when is the last time that happened, I’m just wondering what is the point of firing off fireworks during the daytime. I guess that’s why I write about college football.

So I’ve also learned over the past few days that LSU, Oklahoma and Gator fans among others don’t like it when I use actual facts to substantiate something I say. I am getting the strong feeling that they think I should go over to their fan sites, message boards and forums and ask them what I should let everyone know what the “real” truth is as they know it to be, even though it’s often as far from reality as you can get. By the way LSU Tiger Fans, while you refer to my list of top ten teams based on winning percentage as “the teams LSU beat” I will quickly remind you that the last time Miami visited Death Valley (how many Death Valley’s can there actually be anyway?, but that’s another story) the Canes pantsed the Tigers 44-3 and to be honest it wasn’t even that close.

Today I move on with another list, the Top Ten College Football Teams of All Time Based On Winning Percentage. While I know strength of schedule and all of those other beautiful things you guys let me know about in all of those kind words directed my way are a factor I’m just looking at the winning percentage. I know there are some wonderful formulas out there and then there is total wins (I know LSU fans, LSU has 692 wins but that still wouldn’t get you on the list if I went by wins alone) and there’s also who these wins came against but for now it’s just about winning percentage.

10. Boise State ( .697, 328-148-2)
Penn State fans I guess it’s your turn as the Nittany Lions were on the bubble and many of Boise’s wins came against Division II and 1-AA competition. In any event I was hoping to have something really cool to say about the blue turf in their stadium but really there just isn’t a lot to it. Any school is really allowed to have the field whatever color they want, only Boise goes with blue. It’s similar to how teams are allowed to paint the end zones. I wish I had more.

9. Tennessee (.698, 771-319-53)
Here’s some trivia for you. Did you know they call them the Volunteers and Tennessee “The Volunteer State” because Andrew Jackson needed 1500 men to volunteer for the Battle of New Orleans. Later on Governor Aaron Brown needed 2800 men for the Mexican War and 30,000 Tennesseans volunteered. I have a special place for Jackson; what sports fan doesn’t like a guy who bet everything he owned on a horse race twice and better yet went on to be President. I don’t eat ribs but if I did it would be at a tailgate before a Vols game, it only makes sense.

8. Nebraska (.701, 808-333-40)
The Huskers have had some real nice teams over the years and are one of the first teams that come to mind when you think of traditional powers. So the Huskers have 15 retired numbers and schools are allowed to have 85 scholarships and uniforms generally have 1 or 2 numbers on them..hmmm. So this means they may not only be one of the top winning teams but probably are up near the top of the list of teams in the nation that have more than one player wearing the same number. That always confuses me.

7. Southern Cal (.704, 754-302-54)
Until 1912 the team we know as the Trojans had two nicknames: the Methodists and the Wesleyans. Apparently neither of those names or the two combined didn’t give the team the intimidation factor they were looking for and eventually it was changed. While I don’t know this to be a fact, I can say I safely guess that with 754 wins they been called more than their share of colorful names by opponents, opposing coaches and opposing fans over the years.

6. Alabama (.707, 787-314-43)
I’ve always wondered why the Crimson Tide’s mascot was an elephant. Apparently it comes from a description of the 1930 National Championship team by Everett Strupper from the Atlanta Journal who talked about how the players on the team were so big it sounded like a herd of elephants when Alabama took the field.

5. Oklahoma (.713, 772-295-53)
I already know what you’re thinking and here’s the answer: The Oklahoma Territory was settled with the land run of 1889. Everyone had a chance to claim land but everyone had to start at the same time; those who showed up too early were Sooners and those who participated over all were called Boomers. These are also the names of the Horses that guide the Oklahoma mascot, “the Sooner Schooner” on game days.

4. Ohio State (.714, 797-303-53)
1965 was a big year for the Buckeyes and yes I know they didn’t win the championship that year. It’s the year the “Best Damn Band in the Land” started playing “Hang on Sloopy” at games and it’s also the year they introduced Brutus the Buckeye as their mascot. Of course for the rest of us this may have been one of the worst years in Ohio State history.

3. Texas (.716, 820-316-33)
If you ever see a Texas game you surely can’t miss the giant Longhorn steer on the sideline named Bevo. While I’m sure most Texas fans wish there was a better story than this surrounding the odd choice of names it actually happened when rival Texas A&M branded the mascot with the score of the game 13-0. The Texas faithful converted the 13 to a B, used the - to make an E, squeezed in a V and used the O to create Bevo.

2. Notre Dame (.739, 824-278-42)
It is not really defined where the nickname Fighting Irish came from and is something that is still debated among Notre Dame loyalists today. What is not debatable is that the nickname wasn’t adopted until 1927 which means those great ND teams of the early 20’s were not Fighting Irish. For those playing along at home that makes the famed “Four Horsemen” Ramblers.

1. Michigan ( .745, 869-286-36)
OK, so what is with those helmets? Back in the day receivers used to wear different color helmets so they could be easily identified down field. By making all of the helmets something entirely different than what the other team was wearing Michigan thought it would make it easier to identify who the other guys were to both their offense and defense.

This is the type of list it truly takes years to shake up. We probably won’t be revisiting it too often but it’s always fun to remind ourselves and look at it especially before the season starts and we’ll have plenty to work with. Penn State, Florida State, Georgia, LSU and Miami are the next 5 in order but none of them are really that close to being there. I’m sure LSU fans will think they have a place on this list regardless of what the record book states and I’m sure I’ll hear about it as I can confirm that they know how to reach me.