Results from Playoff Sunday

First-Round Playoff Schedule

Pay Me in Euros, Commissioner Stern! The NBA is Worse than Siberia.

Use your ← → (arrow) keys to browse more stories
Pay Me in Euros, Commissioner Stern! The NBA is Worse than Siberia.

Josh Childress is a damn genius.  After thinking about his flight from the George Washingtons to Euro-land, I decided that if I were in his shoes, I would have hit the road with a smile the size of Mallorca. 

The Euro to US Dollar exchange rate is 1.47:1 as of today.  If given the opportunity to make roughly 1.5 times more money, I would rather play in Siberia than for the following five NBA teams. :

1)      Milwaukee Bucks- Cue Alice Cooper from Wayne’s World 2 circa 1992.  “I think one of the most interesting things about Milwaukee is that it's the only American city to elect three Socialist mayors.”  Interesting Alice. Thanks for chiming in with wonderful morsel of knowledge.  I am sure Michael Redd has an absolutely thrilling social life.

 

2)      Oklahoma Oil Rigs, Wind Turbines or Dust- The Seattle “____” have yet to play a game here. Imagine the horror on Kevin Durant’s face when he found out he was being banished to this hellhole. And yes, I have been to Oklahoma.  Kevin, this isn’t “The Oregon Trail”.  Oklahoma is only a place to stock up on buffalo meat and squirrels.

3)      Washington Wizards- What’s worse than politicians? Aspiring politicians.  While D.C. has its fare share of swanky lounges, I can’t imagine being surrounded by clones of the most awkward,  over-achievers from freshman year core Political Theory lecture.  Just wait until Obama fever sweeps the area. Yikes.

4)      Los Angeles Lakers- I would rather spend a season covering the US Equestrian Team than spend three minutes on a roster with Kobe Bryant.  In fact, I think I’d rather hand-wash Senior Year Prom rental tuxedos on Sunday mornings for a living than spend three minutes with Kobe Bryant.

5)      Orlando Magic- Orlando is the world-wide capital of strip malls, fanny packs and kids on leashes.

 

I left this list at five teams. If given the opportunity to relocate from Siberia to Barcelona, I would become Commissioner Stern’s exchange student overseas pen-pal. 

While the NBA is a dream for many, chasing the almighty Euro sounds like heaven.  Josh, you need a roommate?

Load More Stories

Follow Los Angeles Lakers from B/R on Facebook

Follow Los Angeles Lakers from B/R on Facebook and get the latest updates straight to your newsfeed!

Los Angeles Lakers

Subscribe Now

We will never share your email address

Thanks for signing up.