Redeem This! Picking a Name for the USA Men's Basketball Team (Humor)

So the latest incarnation of USA Men’s Basketball call themselves the “Redeem Team”. I guess that works, since they are looking for redemption but let’s take a look at what names didn’t make the cut.

The Ice Cream Team

Because they melt when it gets too hot! You know, because the heat comes from the pressure defence by international teams, and the US can’t handle it, and—umm, this sounded a lot funnier in my head.

The Mean Team

This team is a group of nice guys, who don't really know how to play the role of a villain and do the dirty things needed to create fear in the opposition. Scoop Jackson of espn.com thinks it’s a problem—and wrote an article about it, saying how they need Amare Stoudemire on the team to be that guy.

Even if they did decide to go with this moniker, they wouldn’t be the original Mean Team. Ever heard of a team called the Monstars? From the movie Space Jam?

The Scream Team

If they can’t be The Mean Team, then they can be The Scream Team. YAAAAAAHHHHH!

Did that surprise you, and maybe put some fear in you? No? Okay.

Maybe it would translate well on the court, where they could let out primal screams after every ferocious dunk, and get on the nerves of their opponents—and possibly the fans, as it could venture into just plain obnoxious territory.

Or they could wear those masks from the “Scream” movies! That would seem appropriate if they’re “killing” teams by 20-plus points.

The Esteem Team

With a team of multi-million dollar athletes with sneaker deals that might have egos that stoked by being All-Star franchise players, I wonder if they really feel honored to be giving up part of their summer to represent their nation.

What if they gave up part of their summer for the chance to go to the most populated country in the world to get exposure and push sales of their jerseys? Heck yeah, man!

Maybe it’s the opposition that should feel honored to get a chance to go up against a superstar-laden team and to lose by 25 points, as it would be good for those countries’ development to deal with adversity, which builds character, and crap like that.

The Dream Team

Not anymore, dude. 1992 was a long time ago.

Keep in mind this is just a silly humor piece and I do like that these stars are giving up part of their summer to represent their country. It's always fun to watch the best players in the world. They seem to be enjoying the experience and you can't hate on that.