Footrprints in The Sky: How CGI Could Better Professional Sports

Boy, those opening ceremonies at the Beijing Olympics were something else weren't they?

Brilliantly choreographed sequences, a cute little kid with perfect teeth and angelic voice belting out a wonderful piece of music, and an unparalleled fireworks display unlike the world has ever seen!

Well, one outta' three ain't bad, but let's focus on those fireworks.

It would seem some of those electric displays of light, color, smoke (or is it smog?) and combustible material were pre-recorded, including the funky "Footprint Fireworks" which exploded high in the sky and led the eyes of more than two billion people watching the ceremony around the globe right to the Bird's Nest, the architectural marvel that is the Olympic stadium.

According to Beijing Games Executive Vice President Wang Wei, "Some footage had been produced before the opening ceremony to provide theatrical effect."

"Some of them were genuinely produced. Some maybe were used from previously recorded material."

Others, in fact, were created digitally, including all 29 of those "footprints" representing the previous 29 Olympiads of lore. 

It seems poor visibility (*cough* smog *hack* ) and air traffic restrictions made it near impossible to make the display happen, so the footprints were all CGI with the camera deliberately shaken to make it look like it was being filmed from a helicopter.

Now, before you call these fudged, phony fireworks a farce, let's look at the possibilities here.

Beijing Olympic Broadcasting, working in conjunction with the International Olympic Committee and other local organizations duped more than two billion people with their fireworks display.  To pull the wool over the eyes of that many people is no small feat.

With that in mind, it's possible to completely rewrite some of the more pivotal, if somewhat agonizing, moments in sport.

Here's just a couple of ideas:

Eli Manning's pass to David Tyree—The footage of that spectacular catch could be altered to make it look like Tyree caught the ball right between the numbers.  That way, New England Patriots fans could still concede victory to the New York Giants, without Giants fans yakking on about "The Catch" any more. 

A Drunken Joe Namath—Everyone remembers Joe for his spectacular career as a New York Jet but, unfortunately, he decided to get all kissy-face with Suzy Kolber back in 2003 and became Internet fodder for Baltimore Colts fans still sporting a grudge.

Instead, let's CGI in an interview with Namath from the past, alter his features a little bit to make him appear older, and TA-DA! Legacy intact!

Barry Bonds—A click of the mouse here, a quick Photoshop edit there and voila! Barry Bonds has a normal sized head again.  Steroids and congressional hearings are no longer a problem for the former San Francisco Giant (both literally and figuratively)!

Brett Favre's First Game With the Jets—Whichever network broadcasts this one, the entire Jets team could be altered using a PC to make it look like they're all sporting Green Bay Packers jerseys. 

At the very least, Packers fans who are bound to be disappointed with Aaron Rodgers would get a glimpse of Brett once again wearing green and gold before it all comes tumbling down on top of 'em.

You see, the possibilities are endless!  I'm sure you could come up with some of your own!

It's been said, "To the victor go the spoils," but now we can amend that old adage: "To the victor go the spoils, but to the loser goes the CGI!"

If it's good enough for the Olympics, which aims to promote fair play and persevering against all odds (which includes poor visibility and air traffic restrictions), it's good enough for me!

Now, I'm going to go listen to some Milli Vanilli! Those guys are really good!