2008 Summer Olympics: The First Six Days

For those of you have haven’t figured it out from my lengthy rants, I have an addictive personality. There are certain things I just latch on to and these things are varied.

A short sampling would be sci-fi TV, apathy, and the Olympics. Oh yes, every two years, yours truly gets completely and utterly obsessed with the Olympics.

It is so bad, that before I moved in with the Duchess, I warned her that for two weeks every two years, I really wouldn’t move from in front of the TV. So today, I want to run down the various things we’ve seen so far at the Summer Games.

Swimming:
I hate to beat a dead horse here, but that 4 X 100 relay showdown between the French and the US was the best swimming match I’ve ever seen. Granted, I only watch during the Olympics, but that’s beside the point.

The US team of Jason Lezak, Garrett Weber-Gale, Cullen Jones, and…..darn it, I forget the fourth guy, it’ll come to me. Anyway, they heard what the French said about smashing them and decided to shove it down their throats.

The man of that match was Lezak, who chased down one of the best closers in the world in Alain Bernard. I was completely blown away by that. I was giving up when they made the turn for the final 50 meters. The thing most impressive about that race is that the top 5 countries all beat the previous world record.

As for Katie Hoff, who is swimming so many races you would think she’s the only female swimmer, you almost feel sorry for her. Almost. Something about her bugs me.

Maybe it’s the goggles indentation on her forehead, maybe it’s the fact she keeps popping up in every race, I don’t know. I do know that it isn’t so bad when she doesn’t win gold. Anytime she gets beaten by Natalie Coughlin is OK in my book.

And how about Brendan Hansen? What a disappointment in the breaststroke. Did you see when he….wait…..now I remember the fourth guy in the 4 X 100 relay. It was some kid named Phelps. Jim? Roger? No, it was Michael. That’s it.

You can’t really talk about Beijing without mentioning Phelps. The guy is unreal. There are really no words to describe him.

It’s like he’s made it his personal mission to tell Ian Thorpe to “shove it.” He swam the 200 butterfly with his goggles full of water and still set a world record. I’m starting to suspect we would need to take off an arm or something to even the playing field.

Oh yeah, Mark Spitz. SHUT THE HECK UP! Did you see that “do you know who I am?” interview? You were great once, but don’t keep mouthing off. Just go away. Do not compare yourself to Phelps in any way.

The only reason you want to be there is so you can jump in the spotlight during this kid’s big moment. I want Phelps to get the nine golds just so I don’t have to hear Spitz’s name anymore.

Gymnastics:
If I started writing this last night, I would have completely ripped apart Alicia Sacramone, but not today, in the harsh light of morning. I feel sorry for her.

All that hard work and sacrifice comes down to these moments and it slipped through her fingers. She let her teammates down, her fans down, and herself down. She did something that very few of us ever do.

She got up on the biggest stage and came away with a silver medal. So I say congratulation Alicia, you did your country proud.

As for the men, geez. Did anyone else see that rings competition with the Chinese gymnast? The one that the announcer said he was “silly strong”? The one where he went from a Maltese Cross into an inverted Iron Cross without swinging his legs, just using pure muscle strength? It hurts just thinking about it.

While I give Sacramone a free pass, I really can’t do the same for Kevin Tan. He sat down on the pummel horse. That’s a no-no.

I was watching his performance like a grizzled Red Sox fan prior to 2004, just waiting for the collapse. You knew it was coming, something just didn’t feel right. As soon as he took the seat, I threw up my arms and said, “I knew it.”

The reason for the difference is Sacramone was trying to do something to help her team, by trying a high risk, high reward mounting of the balance beam. Tan messed up a purely textbook move on the horse, when all he needed as a serviceable routine to keep the US in contention for the silver.

Other Sports:
Three cheers for the three US ladies who swept the women’s saber medals. Normally the sight of women swinging sabers outside the confines of a “Highlander” movie would give me the chills, but this was classic.

I had trouble deciding who to root for in the final, when it was teammate vs. teammate. I finally settled on Zagunis for some odd reason.

The best was when the three were interviewed by Bob Costas later and Zagunis got uncomfortable when Costas asked her about her boyfriend situation. Spot on Bob, spot on.

The best part of the Olympics is all the weird sports you get to watch. Nothing beats watching the French/Angola Women’s Handball match. How about a little Men’s Badminton?

You gotta love Water Polo and Rowing. Everyone can dig a little Road Cycling. The list of obscure sports is staggering.

Beach Volleyball is the best. Instead of the talking about the US Men’s team dousing their drawers against Latvia or Kerri Walsh losing her wedding ring, I have to mention one classic moment.

When Misti May let President Bush pat her on the backside, I nearly cried I was laughing so hard. No matter your feelings on the man, you have to love this. Two thoughts crossed my mind. One, thank God it wasn’t Bill Clinton. Two, it’s good to be President.